Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

As I use this blog to rant, a lot, about some of the more philosophical issues about my life, I figure it only fair that I use this to rant about myself. While it is greatly baffling to me how eager people are to read my words, I have been far too loose with them with regards to other people. To that end, I would like to make an apology to Christy Lobdell, as well as to her family (who, I must say, does an impressive job of keeping informed of her reputation. I wish my family communicated as easily about matters and allowed for the resolution of issues.).

I wish I could say this was the first time, or even the second time, that my words have spread far and wide and ended up bringing me into judgment. The Bible wisely says (and I do not forget it for a moment) that we will be judged for every idle word that comes out of our mouth. I have more idle words than most, and thus I am judged more than most (though I am somewhat thin-skinned and do not like it, I suppose it is a part of life). Nonetheless, I hope that no one has any ideas that I have anything but the highest respect for Christy. Originally, I caused offense by writing a play using names that were way too close to her and her family, and in situations that she would never be involved in. Then, I caused offense again by my comments about her in a blog entry (though, to be fair, it was not only about her that I spoke). That said, my words have spread far and wide, much further and much wider than I intended or really desired.

But rather than merely have bad words spread, it is good to think on positive things. Christy was a close friend of mine for many years, and one thing I greatly valued in our friendship (and the reason why she was a best friend of mine for so long) was that she was always honest and candid to me about my own flaws, and always pointed a mirror of the highest conduct to me, without being too self-rightous about it. I am not nearly reflective enough about how my words and actions affect other people, but I do appreciate those who (in love) gently but firmly point out where I am going wrong so that I may see the beam in my own eyes, and not merely the specks in the eyes of others. If only all people dealt with things as quickly and as honestly as she, perhaps I would get myself in a lot less trouble. (This is a hint to all of you who read my journal looking for juicy tidbits about subjects I rant about. We would all be better served if you took your complaints to me. Believe me, I'm not very happy when people send me corrective messages, but in the end I appreciate them and try to learn from them.). You see, I ranted yesterday about the importance of being a truth teller, and how unpleasant that task can be. I owe it to all of you, though, to be a better person when it comes to listening to the truthtellers in my life. Those who are willing to dish out unpleasant truth need to take the strong medicine themselves. I appreciate, Christy, and those among you who also do it (and you know who you are, and there are not many of you), that you deal with my rather prickly temper because you believe something ought to be said about how I am failing to behave as well as I should.

May I behave better in the future.