Thursday, March 30, 2006

Nigerian E-mail Scams

I get a large amount of junk e-mail, mostly from Church of God members with no gainful employment who desire to argue over such foolish things as how long our tassels have to be and other such nonsense. However, recently I have received a rather large number of more disturbing corresondence. Now, I have gotten these e-mails often before, but never in such a consistent pattern. Now, for the pleasure of my readership, I will post here unedited e-mails, before subjecting them to a brief and savage exegesis. You have been warned (joke).

Texts

ALIM KAREB.
AUDITIN AND ACCOUNTIN MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.


Dear Friend,

I am the AOUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) here
in
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an abandoned
sum of US$14m dollars (FOURTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account that
belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from
Munich,
Germany) who died along with his entire family in Jully 2000 in a plane
crash.
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT THIS SITE BELLOW

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release
it
unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased
as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him
at the
plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this
business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of
kin or
relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since
nobody
is
coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury
as unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained unclaimed after six years, the money will be transfered into
the
bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a
foreigner
and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision of a foriegn account , 10% will be set aside for expenses
incurred
during the business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit
your
country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated
Therefore, to
enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must
apply
first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating
your
bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax
number
for easy and effective communication and location where in the money
will
be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
of the application .

I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free
and
that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required
arrangements
have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.ALIM KAREB. (B.O.A)
TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENCIAL

MR ALIM KAREB.
AUDITIN AND ACCOUNTIN MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.


Dear Friend,

I am the AOUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) here
in
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an abandoned
sum of US$14m dollars (FOURTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account that
belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from
Munich,
Germany) who died along with his entire family in Jully 2000 in a plane
crash.
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT THIS SITE BELLOW

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release
it
unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased
as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him
at the
plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this
business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of
kin or
relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since
nobody
is
coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury
as unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained unclaimed after six years, the money will be transfered into
the
bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a
foreigner
and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision of a foriegn account , 10% will be set aside for expenses
incurred
during the business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit
your
country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated
Therefore, to
enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must
apply
first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating
your
bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax
number
for easy and effective communication and location where in the money
will
be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
of the application .

I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free
and
that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required
arrangements
have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.ALIM KAREB. (B.O.A)
TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENCIAL

Brief editorial comments: Two letters for the price of one! In the first he is a Mister, and in the second he has been upgraded to a Doctor. Most impressive!

FROM;MR.LUCAS KRUIS
JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
E-MAIL:lucaskruis@hotmail.com
TEL;27-73-232-1447

REQUEST FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE/BUSINESS

Dear,

With due respect, trust and humanity, I write this letter to you
seeking
your help and assistance though Its difficult since we have not met
before.
I got your good contact from the South African Information Exchange
(SAIE)
regarding your business profile and sincerity. I believe that you are
capable and reliable in handling this urgent international transaction
of
this sort.
I am lucas kruis, the son of the Comrade Border kruis the Zimbabwean
former
Minister for Youth & Gender Equality who is also a businessman and
politician, in the Zimbabwean political arena . My father was the
famous
politician who stood firm against President Mugabes idea of continuous
fight
in Democratic Republic of Congo and my father also stood against the
seizure
of white owned farms and the distribution of it to the blacks without
compesation to the white owners. Because of my fathers sincerity he was
killed on 14th April 2001 by a planned motor accident along Mashonaland
in
Western Mashona Province of Zimbabwe, the planners of the accident is
to be
said dissidents soldiers suspected to have the backing of the
Government and
President Mugabe himself.

Sir, when this accident occurred at about 10:15 am Zimbabwean time my
father
did not died on the spot rather he was rushed to Harare hospital by
unknown
soldiers and my father managed to call my younger brother and me
through his
assistance, and when my brother and I rushed to the hospital my father
only
managed to sneak a written message to us, explaining his condition
concerning one diplomatic box he concealed under the roof of his
private
bedroom containing US$25 Million (Twenty Five Million United States
Dollars)
and other vital documents which was meant for his political campaign in
the
next election June 2002. He instructed me to take my brother and my
younger
sister with the box and leave Zimbabwe immediately for our safety,
which we
have successfully did and now we are in South Africa with the money
deposited in a Private Security Company with the original documents of
deposit intact.
But because of the countrys exixsting law which bars asyllum seekers /
refugees like us to operate an account that exceed US$2,000.00 and the
fear
of money not raising eyebrows here in South Africa, I decided to write
to
you to seek for your help for this money to be transferred into your
private
bank account as all arrangements for a hitch-free transfer have been
fully
taken care of. I want to assure you also that this transaction is 100%
risk
free as no other person knows about this box apart from my younger
brother
and i.

Sir, as for your reward for your kind assistance we have resolved to
give
you 20% of the total amount, 10% for any expenses that might be
incurred in
the course of this transaction. We planned to invest the rest of the
money
in your country under your guidance . If you are willing to help us try
as
much as possible to reach me with the above numbers to enable us
proceed in
earnest towards concluding all transaction.

Sir, bear it in mind that our lives solely depend on this fund and we
do
hope that this money will be safe when finally transferred into your
account. I do hope of establishing a rewarding and good relationship
with
you and your family after this transaction. Hoping to hear from you as
soon
as possible. Thank you for your co-operation and God bless
Best regards
LUCAS KRUIS. FROM;MR.LUCAS KRUIS
JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
E-MAIL:lucaskruis@hotmail.com
TEL;27-73-232-1447

REQUEST FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE/BUSINESS

Dear,

With due respect, trust and humanity, I write this letter to you
seeking
your help and assistance though Its difficult since we have not met
before.
I got your good contact from the South African Information Exchange
(SAIE)
regarding your business profile and sincerity. I believe that you are
capable and reliable in handling this urgent international transaction
of
this sort.
I am lucas kruis, the son of the Comrade Border kruis the Zimbabwean
former
Minister for Youth & Gender Equality who is also a businessman and
politician, in the Zimbabwean political arena . My father was the
famous
politician who stood firm against President Mugabes idea of continuous
fight
in Democratic Republic of Congo and my father also stood against the
seizure
of white owned farms and the distribution of it to the blacks without
compesation to the white owners. Because of my fathers sincerity he was
killed on 14th April 2001 by a planned motor accident along Mashonaland
in
Western Mashona Province of Zimbabwe, the planners of the accident is
to be
said dissidents soldiers suspected to have the backing of the
Government and
President Mugabe himself.

Sir, when this accident occurred at about 10:15 am Zimbabwean time my
father
did not died on the spot rather he was rushed to Harare hospital by
unknown
soldiers and my father managed to call my younger brother and me
through his
assistance, and when my brother and I rushed to the hospital my father
only
managed to sneak a written message to us, explaining his condition
concerning one diplomatic box he concealed under the roof of his
private
bedroom containing US$25 Million (Twenty Five Million United States
Dollars)
and other vital documents which was meant for his political campaign in
the
next election June 2002. He instructed me to take my brother and my
younger
sister with the box and leave Zimbabwe immediately for our safety,
which we
have successfully did and now we are in South Africa with the money
deposited in a Private Security Company with the original documents of
deposit intact.
But because of the countrys exixsting law which bars asyllum seekers /
refugees like us to operate an account that exceed US$2,000.00 and the
fear
of money not raising eyebrows here in South Africa, I decided to write
to
you to seek for your help for this money to be transferred into your
private
bank account as all arrangements for a hitch-free transfer have been
fully
taken care of. I want to assure you also that this transaction is 100%
risk
free as no other person knows about this box apart from my younger
brother
and i.

Sir, as for your reward for your kind assistance we have resolved to
give
you 20% of the total amount, 10% for any expenses that might be
incurred in
the course of this transaction. We planned to invest the rest of the
money
in your country under your guidance . If you are willing to help us try
as
much as possible to reach me with the above numbers to enable us
proceed in
earnest towards concluding all transaction.

Sir, bear it in mind that our lives solely depend on this fund and we
do
hope that this money will be safe when finally transferred into your
account. I do hope of establishing a rewarding and good relationship
with
you and your family after this transaction. Hoping to hear from you as
soon
as possible. Thank you for your co-operation and God bless
Best regards
LUCAS KRUIS.

Brief editorial comments: Our lives solely depend on this fund? Unlikely.

From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer

Brief editorial comments: You'd think if someone wanted to swindle my money, they'd be smart enough not to send me the same message five times.

International remittance Dept,
Global Bank Nig. Plc,
Corporate Office,
136 Adeola Odeku road,
Victoria Island,
Lagos - Nigeria.
24-03-06

Hello,

I am Dr. JOE IFEANYI a banker, staff in the office of the director
international remittance department, Global Bank of Nigeria Plc,
Lagos-Nigeria. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for
you.On June 2001, an American Oil
consultant/contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum
Corporation,engr. ROY ALLEN made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve
calendar months, valued at US$17,000,000.00(seventeen million Dollars ) in my
branch.Upon maturity,I sent a routine notification to his forwarding
address but got no reply.

After a month,we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his
contract employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation that Engr.
Roy died from an automobile accident with his wife and three
children.On further investigation,I found out that he died without making a WILL,
and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless I therefore
made further investigation and discovered that He did not declare any kin
or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit
paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$17,000,000.00 is still sitting in
my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at
the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it.
According to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5(five) years, the
money will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian Government if nobody
applies to claim the fund.Consequently, my proposal is that I will like
you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to him so that the
fruits of this old man's labour will not get into the hands of some corrupt
government officials.

This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full name
and address so that the Attorney will prepare the necessary documents
and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin, your
direct phone number for easy communication.
The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio
of 50% for me and 45% for you and 5% for any expenses incured on the
process of the transaction including taxes, .There is no risk at all as
all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorney and
my position with the bank guarantees the successful execution of this
transaction.If you are interested, please send the informations to me.

Upon your response, I shall then send to you an application which you
will fill and forward to the bank requesting the release of the fund to
you.Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that
this transaction would be most profitable for both of us as I will need
your advice in the area of investment in your country. My cell #
234-8028286924
Altern. email: dr_joe01@zipmail.com.br

Best regards,
Dr. Joe

Brief editorial comments: What's up with these doctors?

FROM THE DESK OF MR AMINU VATA.
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A).
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO
WEST AFRICA.

Dear Friend,

I am the manager of bill and exchange department BANK OF AFRICA
(B.O.A) In
my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $15m US dollars (
fifteen
million US dollars) . In an account that belongs to one of our foreign
customer who died along with his entire family in november 1998 in a
plane
crash.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next of
kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unless
somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as
indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that
all his
supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane
crash
leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my
department now decided to make this businness proposal to you and
release
the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for
safety
and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we donÃÕ
want
this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclamed after five years, the money will be transfered into the Bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and a
Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. We agree that 30
% of
this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the
provision
of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incured
during the
business and 60 % would be for me and my colleagues.

Then after I and my colleagues will visit your country for disbursement
accoding to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the
immediate
trnansfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the
bank
as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name,
your
bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and
effective communication and location where in the money will be
remitted .
Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
of
the application.

I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch
free
and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required
arrangements have been made for the transfer . you should contact me
immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from
you
immediately. PLEASE MY DEAR FRIEND THIS IS MY PRIVATE LINE YOU CAN
CALL
ME IMMIDEATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL. 00226 (76 63 87 21)

THANKS
MR AMINU VATA.
B.O.A (BANK OF AFRICA)

Brief editorial comments: My dear friend? Who are you again? Probably some Nigerian dude in a cyber cafe.

FROM:MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL:27 7322 91 403
EAIL;THANDI_MPOYO5@HOTMAIL.COM
ATTN: DIRECTOR/C.E.O,

I am the wife of Late Mr. Daniel Mpoyo a farmer from Zimbabwe. I got
your
address from South African Information Exchange in Johannesburg. During
the
current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of our
President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party
members and his followers, he ordered all the white-owned farmers to
surrender all their farm lands to his party members and his followers.

My husband was one of the best farmers in our country and also in
partnership with white farmers. He did not support the Idea of our
President
against the white farmers,supporters of President Mugabe invaded my
husband's farm and burnt everything in the Farm Lands, killing my
husband
and made away with a lot of items in our Farm Lands.After the death of
my
husband,my son and his family decided to move out from Zimbabwe but i
am
still in our country due to my health situation thou my life is in
danger,i
strongly believe God to be with me and my family and to safe money my
husband kept in my care for our future investment overseas. The amount
is
US $ 9.Million(Nine Million United States Dollars)and my son decided to
move
to the Republic of South Africa with his family where he deposited the
money
in a Security Company as valuables. So, we decided to contact overseas
Firm
that will assist us move this money out of South Africa.We have agreed
to
give you from the total sum 20% for helping us to move this money to
your
country and 5%:will be mapped out for expenses both of us might incured
during this transaction while the balance will be for my family to
invest
in your country.

Kindly furnish me with all your banking details and your personal phone
and
fax numbers for easy communication. You can contact my son Mr.Johnson
Mpoyo
on the above telephone numbers for further information.Note that this
transaction is 100% risk-free and it requires mutual trust and absolute
confidentiality and my son have taken care of all formalities regarding
this
transaction. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated in this
regard.Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,
MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL ;27 7322 91 403
FROM:MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL:27 7322 91 403
EAIL;THANDI_MPOYO5@HOTMAIL.COM
ATTN: DIRECTOR/C.E.O,

I am the wife of Late Mr. Daniel Mpoyo a farmer from Zimbabwe. I got
your
address from South African Information Exchange in Johannesburg. During
the
current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of our
President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party
members and his followers, he ordered all the white-owned farmers to
surrender all their farm lands to his party members and his followers.

My husband was one of the best farmers in our country and also in
partnership with white farmers. He did not support the Idea of our
President
against the white farmers,supporters of President Mugabe invaded my
husband's farm and burnt everything in the Farm Lands, killing my
husband
and made away with a lot of items in our Farm Lands.After the death of
my
husband,my son and his family decided to move out from Zimbabwe but i
am
still in our country due to my health situation thou my life is in
danger,i
strongly believe God to be with me and my family and to safe money my
husband kept in my care for our future investment overseas. The amount
is
US $ 9.Million(Nine Million United States Dollars)and my son decided to
move
to the Republic of South Africa with his family where he deposited the
money
in a Security Company as valuables. So, we decided to contact overseas
Firm
that will assist us move this money out of South Africa.We have agreed
to
give you from the total sum 20% for helping us to move this money to
your
country and 5%:will be mapped out for expenses both of us might incured
during this transaction while the balance will be for my family to
invest
in your country.

Kindly furnish me with all your banking details and your personal phone
and
fax numbers for easy communication. You can contact my son Mr.Johnson
Mpoyo
on the above telephone numbers for further information.Note that this
transaction is 100% risk-free and it requires mutual trust and absolute
confidentiality and my son have taken care of all formalities regarding
this
transaction. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated in this
regard.Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,
MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL ;27 7322 91 403
FROM:MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL:27 7322 91 403
EAIL;THANDI_MPOYO5@HOTMAIL.COM
ATTN: DIRECTOR/C.E.O,

I am the wife of Late Mr. Daniel Mpoyo a farmer from Zimbabwe. I got
your
address from South African Information Exchange in Johannesburg. During
the
current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of our
President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party
members and his followers, he ordered all the white-owned farmers to
surrender all their farm lands to his party members and his followers.

My husband was one of the best farmers in our country and also in
partnership with white farmers. He did not support the Idea of our
President
against the white farmers,supporters of President Mugabe invaded my
husband's farm and burnt everything in the Farm Lands, killing my
husband
and made away with a lot of items in our Farm Lands.After the death of
my
husband,my son and his family decided to move out from Zimbabwe but i
am
still in our country due to my health situation thou my life is in
danger,i
strongly believe God to be with me and my family and to safe money my
husband kept in my care for our future investment overseas. The amount
is
US $ 9.Million(Nine Million United States Dollars)and my son decided to
move
to the Republic of South Africa with his family where he deposited the
money
in a Security Company as valuables. So, we decided to contact overseas
Firm
that will assist us move this money out of South Africa.We have agreed
to
give you from the total sum 20% for helping us to move this money to
your
country and 5%:will be mapped out for expenses both of us might incured
during this transaction while the balance will be for my family to
invest
in your country.

Kindly furnish me with all your banking details and your personal phone
and
fax numbers for easy communication. You can contact my son Mr.Johnson
Mpoyo
on the above telephone numbers for further information.Note that this
transaction is 100% risk-free and it requires mutual trust and absolute
confidentiality and my son have taken care of all formalities regarding
this
transaction. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated in this
regard.Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,
MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL ;27 7322 91 403

Brief editorial comments: I'm not messing with any farmers from Zimbabwe. I have an acquaintance who is actually a high ranking judge in Zimbabwe, actually, and even if something like this were real (which I highly doubt, it probably comes from the corrupt ruling party there trying to make some $$$), I'd avoid it like the plague.

FROM:MRS.CAROLINE ZUMA.
6B RIVONIA ROAD.
FROM SOUTH AFRICA.
caro_line_bc@hotmail.com


ATT:CEO.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
You may be surprised to receive this letter since you don't know me, I
am
Mrs.CAROLINE ZUMA, the wife of late Dr. J .ZUMA, who was cently
murdered
inthe land dispute in Zimbabwe.

I got your contact through South African Information exchange (S.A.I.E)
here
in Johannesburg and I decided to write for an assistance. My late
husband
was among the few blacks Zimbabwe rich farmers murdered in cold blood
by
the agents of the ruling government of President Robert Mugabe for his
alleged support and sympathy of the Zimbabwean opposition party
controlled
by the ites.

Before his death, he took I and my son JACK to Johannesburg to deposit
the
sum of US$21.5 Million (TWENTY ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND United
states Dollars)in JACK" name as the beneficiary with a private Security
and
Finance Company as if he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe. The
money
was deposited as a consignment in a box to the security company to
avoid
seizure, and to avoid much demurrage from the security company, This
money
was for the purchase of new machines for the farm and establishment of
a new
farm in swasiland.

This land problem arose when President Robert Mugabe introduce a new
land
act which wholly effects the rich white farmers and some blacks
vehemently
condemned the modus operadi adopted by the government that resulted to
rampant killings and mob actin by the war veterans and some political
thugs,
preciselym more than sixty one (61) people have been killed. Heads of
government from Western World especially Britain and United States of
America have voice their condemnation of Mugabe's plans.

Subsequently, the South African development community (SADC) has ously
supported Mugabe's new land reform act. It is against this background
that
I and my family who are currently staying in south Africa have decided
to
transfer my husband's money into a foreign account.please, if you are
willing to help me,I and my son have agreed to give you 20% while 75%
As the
only wife to my late husband 5% will be for the expenses during this
transaction.

I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking for an account where
this
money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who
had
tactically freezing our family wealth and South African Government
seems to
be playing alongside with them.

We have decided not to invest this amount of money in South Africa for
the
fear of seizure and tering the same experience in future since both
countries have almost the same political history.

More so the South African Foreign Exchange policy does not allow such
investment hence we are asyllum seekers,I must let you know that this
transaction is 100% risk free. Therefore if you accept this
proposal,please
contact my son JACK ZUMA who is the beneficiary with his email address:
jackzuma177@yahoo.com or call with the telephone number +
27-723-917-777

Please do send an email , but you should know that this is highly
conffidential and shall be kept within you alone. Have a good day.
Best regards,
MRS.CAROLINE ZUMA.
{FOR THE FAMILY}

Brief editorial comments: Whose family is this for? Certainly not mine.

Dear Good Friend.

I greet you in the name of the Lord.

I am Mrs.Alies Adams from Solomon Islands. I am married to Mr.Adams who
worked with our Embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he diedon
the 15th August 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child.
He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Ever before his death we were both born again Christians and have sown
into many ministries. Since his death I decided not to remarry, but
feeling quite lonely if not the Lord who has been my partner and
comforter.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$8.5 Million
witha Bank in Cote D lvoire. Presently this money is still in the custody
ofthe Bank in Cote D lvoire.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight
monthsdue to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to
donate this fund to a church,organization or good person that will utilize
this moneythe way I am going to instruct herein.

I want a church,organization or good person that willuse this funds to
help the orphans, widows and other people that needfinancial
assistance. Using part of this money to provide facilities for God,s work, taking
the gospel to greater height is my major reason of donating this funds
out. The Bible made us to understand that"Blessed is the hand that
giveth". l took this decision because I don't have any child that will
inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and it had
been their wish to see my husband dead in order that they might inherit
his wealth since we have no son. These people are therefore not worthy
of this inheritance.

This is why I am taking this decision. Meanwhile I am not afraid of
death hence I know where I am going. It is only a sinner who's death is
painful I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because
of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me
always. I don't want them to know about this development and l know that
With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the
Bank in Cote d' lvoire. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the
bank that will prove you the present beneficiary of this money. I also
want you to always uplift me in prayer.

My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that
Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in truth andfaith, "serving him
with all you have, knowing that naked we come and naked we must go"
Contact me on the this email address and any delay in your reply will give
me room in sourcing another good person, church,organization for this
same purpose.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.

Hoping to receive your response immedaitely.

Thanks and Remain blessed in the Lord.

Your Sister in Christ.

Mrs.Alies Adams.

Email ; ( alies_adams@yahoo.fr )


Brief editorial comments: Sin kills. God heals.

Attn: Friend.

I am Dr. Harry Chisale, the director, Auditing and Accounting unit of
the
Continental Bank, and the account officer to Brochem Bereau, a multi
million
and multi dimensional Japanese Firm based here in Benin Republic, The
Director Eng. Chun, Myung-Sik, unfortunately died in the tragic plane
crash
of Union Transport Africaines Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin
republic
on the December 25, 2003. You will read more stories about the crash on
visiting the below:

website: www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/26/benin.crash/

Before his death Eng. Chun, Myung-Sik has a ten (10) years time deposit
account with my bank made in June 1993, which has matured and several
official notice despatched to his confidential contact as instructed
without
response. No other person knows about this account or any thing
concerning
it except him, and my comprehensive investigation proved that his
supposed
next of kin died with him in the crash.

I decided to contact you to assist in repatriating the fund before it
get
confiscatedor declared unserviceable by the bank. I seek your consent
to
present you as the bona-fide next of kin to the deceased customer so
that
the proceeds of the account valued at US$5.6Million can be paid to you
immediately and then you and I will share the money. I have used my
official
capacity to perfect all the administrative logistic to back up the
claim
before contacting you.

All I require is a secured bank account outside Benin Republic and your
honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee
that
this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect
you
from any breach of the law. All documents of transaction and data will
be
destroyed with Telex and Info Tech Unit (TITU) immediately we receive
this
money leaving no trace to any place. If this proposal is acceptable to
you,
kindly email your following
information to me immediately:

a. Complete names
b. Private telephone number
c. Private fax number
d. Private email

Sincerely,
Dr. Harry Chisale
00229-97876751

Brief editorial comments: Another doctor?

These are the e-mails that would qualify as "Nigerian E-mail scams" that I have received just in the last two weeks. There are some features of them that resemble a form letter, and so it is worthwhile to look at them in at least a little bit of detail to determine the nature of the scam and why these frauds keep on entering into my inbox, and yours, more than likely.

First comes some sort of introduction that tries to explain why someone I don't know would bother to send me a message. After all, these scammers (like most scammers) recongnize that there is an initial distrust when dealing with people one does not know. I tend to only distrust those selling me things, as I tend to have no problem with strangers in general. It is only those people who seek to gain at my loss that earn my annoyance, and there are rather too many of those people around. Usually there is some kind of comment to the effect that only a foreigner could deal with this because the law of such-and-such country prevents their own citizens from this rather lucrative and shady business.

Then there is some kind of sob story that shows someone's sickness (in one case) or death (the rest) and that attempts to pull at my heartstrings. It seriously annoys me when people try to take advantage of my generosity. I would rather people think I am cold and heartless and not generous at all, because then such generosity as I occasionally show would be a surprise, and would be welcomed, rather than expected and taken advantage of. Such is the life, though. Often times there is some kind of pathetic tone through the entire message that attempts to demonstrate how destitute said recipient would be without my participation in the rather shady dealings (this is probably true, as there are many destitute in Africa, though the ones who propogate such scams are probably those who are more clever and wicked among the rather poorly off population at large).

Also along with the appeal to my generous and merciful heart is the appeal to greed. Anyone who appeals to my greed is someone to be highly distrusted, just as is anyone who appeals to my generosity. There is usually some obscenely large amount of money that is supposedly waiting there for me, and all I have to do is give the local guy a cut and I get the rest. I have my sins, but rampant greed does not happen to be one of them. I know what they sell, and I'm not buying. I try never to let my greed get in the way of my sound and sceptical thinking.

There is also often some kind of appeal to credibility. Whether that is some sort of bogus title (those who scam others are always trying to give themselves titles in order to be seen with credibility they do not deserve), or some sort of "close relation" to the deceased, there is always some attempt to increase trust by the use of titles. I destest the use of titles in increasing credibility. It really does nothing for me. I do not view people selling me things as credible, and when they attempt to enlist credibility, I trust them even less (if that were possible). When it comes to human credibility, the smallest child of a migrant farming family (some of my few childhood friends) has as much credibility as the most powerful person or the most educated. At any rate, they are equally worth my attention and consideration. The credibility of something should be in the content of the appeal, for if that content is present, I care not what letters are behind your name, or if you have any at all. If the content is lacking, all of the titles in the world will not help you gain my trust.

Finally, these letters often have information in bold or in all caps because they assume I am stupid and cannot read for myself. I deteset when people use all caps or bold in order to emphasize more than one word in writing. I am literate, and I do pay attention (rather close attention, if sometimes hostile) to what I am reading. It is an insult to have phrases and sentances bolded, because if they are important to me, they will receive their proper notice when I am reading them. It is rather foolish to assume that what is important to you is going to be important to me, unless you actually know me (for I am an unusual person).

How then, does one sell to someone like myself? One doesn't. If I want something, all I need is the right opportunity at the right price (and I am always looking for opportunities), and I will have no problem with it. If I already want it, your selling is useless, because I am already a willing customer and you are wasting your energy by trying to sell me it. If I do not want it, all of your attempts to sell me your product will fall on deaf ears because the harder you try to sell it the more suspicious I will be about the product and about the motive of the person selling it to me. It is rather easy to irritate and annoy me (especially recently, because I do not have the reserves of patience I normally have to keep me from being set of by everything around me). It is, however, rather difficult to move me in a positive direction, unless you speak with reason. If you must appeal to me, appeal to my intellect and reason. Appeal to truth, to facts, to evidence. Do not appeal to your expertise, as you probably don't have any. And please, if you want to appeal to me, do not send me a mass e-mail. I'm worth more than that.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Everything You Know Is Wrong

Today I would like to look at two news stories, one in sports and the other in disputes, that demonstrate signs of the times, as well as subjects I happen to be interested in. We will start, as is my custom, in light syrup, and then move to the more serious issue afterwards. With that somewhat cryptic introduction, let us move onto the stories.

What Color Is Kryptonite?

George Mason was a Virginia slaveowner who refused to sign the Constitution because it permitted slavery (those Virginian slaveowners were an ironic lot, were they not?). He is considered the father of the Bill of Rights, and a university is named after him on the outskirts of Washington DC. George Mason University is a commuter school with a diverse population of people not so interested in sports, but you had better believe they are now. The Patriots, regular season co-champions of the Colonial Athletic Association (!) are now in the Final Four (!!) of the NCAA tournament, having dispatched Michigan State, North Carolina (the defending national champions), Wichita State, and Connecticut in four straight upset wins.

As a true fan of the underdog, I have been hearing good things about this team all year. They played a difficult schedule and were definitely part of this year's "Mid-Major Revolution," where smaller schools gained coveted bids over mediocre teams from larger and more powerful conferences. I'm all for that. There were some naysayers, but George Mason University has proven them wrong and earned a nation of bandwagon fans, something it probably does not mind.

I actually watched most of the first half of the Elite 8 showdown where George Mason pulled off the shocking upset of a Connecticut team that was actually playing pretty well (much better than, say, Memphis and UCLA were playing on Saturday night). After some early cold shooting, they started to find their range and came back, stealing the ball, hustling for every rebound (despite a major height disadvantage). At that point, I thought, they just might be able to pull off one of the most shocking upsets in college basketball history. And so they did. Here's hoping they pull off two more.

Law and Disorder in France

France has declared war on its young adults. Saddled with 22% unemployment among its young adults (a horrendous waste of bright minds, largely due to employment practices which in France and elsewhere serve to benefit older employees unjustly at the expense of young people), the Conservative French government pushed through a new law that legitimizes (well, maybe that's the wrong word) discrimination against young people by allowing them to be fired easier without the normal legal restraints. This has, unsurprisingly, led to a cross-cultural revolt of the young in many French suburbs. I say, go for it, French young people. You are not being respected, and until the older generations respect the youth, let them fear the youth. It is completely unacceptable that young adults should be denied their proper place in society so that the middle aged should receive the benefits of guaranteed security.

This is emblematic of the generational crisis present throughout the world at this time. There is a large number, in nearly every society in the world, of well educated young adults who desire to better their lives and positions. I know, for I am one of them, and I am far from alone in coming from a disadvantaged background seeking improvement in my conditions. However, all around the world are corrupt societies where these desires to improve conditions are thwarted because of vested societal interests--corrupt monarchies in the Middle East that inefficiently manage oil wealth and limit the benefits to the wealthy few, corrupt employment systems in the West that excessively reward executives and seek to aggressively limit payroll increases for regular employees, corrupt immigration policies that allow illegal immigrants to prop up unacceptable pay rates in 3rd world countries by simultaneously lowering the wages for service and manual labor in first world countries, corrupt religious and political figures who use the acceptable and proper rage of young adults to terrorize the world, and corrupt middle aged citizens and politicians who continue to seek the young to subsidize their retirements when their prospects for wealth and respect are hindered at every turn.

The problems that plague France are not unique. The same conditions, in some way, are present all over the world. It is good to see the young people of France working together, as they are all subject to the same pressures, the fault of no particular ethnic group, but rather the fault of those who have abused their power and wealth to serve selfish ends at the expense of others who are more righteous and worthy than they are. The French may be a tad quicker to protest than other nations are, but let this serve as an example to other nations that peace in their societies depends on justice, and that justice has for too long been delayed and denied.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Against Tyranny: The Neglected Biblical Legacy of William Tyndale and The Geneva Bible

I am one of the ten percent of those who have visited "Ink and Blood" who has heard of William Tyndale before. He was a marytr to the cause of true faith in the Bible when he was stranged and burned to the stake by Catholics. His crime was taking the Bible seriously and translating it into English.

During the lifetime of William Tyndale, it was a crime, punishable by death, to own the Bible in the vernacular (that is, the common tongue). The Catholic Church, like all corrupt powers, wished to hold onto knowledge and keep it from the common person, because when the common people have access to knowledge, hierarchies come crumbling down. It is for this reason that I am so staunchly in favor of as wide a dissemination of knowledge as is possible, for we are all equals, separated only by pride and arrogance and ignorance. There is no excuse for any to oppress any others in any way.

William Tyndale took the Bible seriously. Most people, even people of faith, do not. There are really two messages of the Bible: the first is obedience to God, and the second is love for one's fellow man. In order to be a true believer of God, both are necessary. Obedience to God involves knowing God's word and following it. This is difficult, and involves casting off those human habits and traditions which work counter to God's law. Loving one's fellow man is a commitment to social justice (not a popular thing then or now), and a commitment to service and generosity.

It was Tyndale's commitment to social justice and the accountability of leadership that got him (and others like him, myself included) into trouble with the corrupt authorities of his time. By exposing the foolish superstitions of his time, and exposing the corrupt behavior of authorities (divorce and immorality figured into it, then as now). He was no anarchist (neither am I, nor is anyone else with a true commitment to the Bible), but he saw clearly the fault of his times and exposed it with moderation but with devastating clarity.

After his death his Bible translation, carried on by others, became accepted in England until the reign of Mary Tudor, otherwise known as Bloody Mary. A group of Protestants who fled to Geneva used Tyndale's Bible as the basis for the Geneva Bible, an excellent translation. Included with this translation were some great notes that nonetheless are controversial even now. For example, the notes were stuanchly against corrupt monarches. Two notes in particular were considered quite inflammatory. One note in Exodus 1 praised the Hebrew midwives for their disobedience of the Pharaoh, which was considered seditious. The other note condemned Asa for only deposing his idolatrous mother instead of having her killed as the law commanded. These sort of notes did not endear themselves to corrupt monarchs who did not read Deuteronomy 17 closely enough. I wholeheartedly agree with those sentiments that those in power should not be exempt from the strictest penalties of breaking the law that are meted out to the lowest and most disreputable of citizens. If anything, we should be more severe against leaders than against led, more severe against the powerful than the powerless, on account of the greater reach of their actions and the greater and more public example they set.

The Geneva Bible was the most popular Bible until the King James Bible, and in my opinion is a superior translation (on account of its acknowledged closeness to Tyndale's work, which is also adopted without attribution in the KJV, and accounts for its veracity, such as it has, and its poetic excellence). Both Tyndale and the Geneva Bible are mostly neglected today, and carrying on my theme of praising that which is unfairly neglected, I give them due honor in the place where my voice and opinion can be heard the most and the most clearly. Let us remember the work of those who came before us and whose sacrifices made it possible for the liberties we possess and the truth we possess today. Let not their sacrifice be in vain.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Skunks

I love skunks. While most people are afraid of skunks because of their rather unpleasant spray, I have never worried about skunks because I share their personality type and because I take special care to show affection and love to that which is unfairly ignored and slighted by others. I am of the belief that other people will defend what is easily defended, and will love what is easily loveable. It takes special care to defend that which other people are hostile to, or to bring up with ohter people unfairly slight, or to love what other people neglect and fear. After all, our character is shown by how we treat those who are least regarded, not how we treat those whom everyone loves and respects.

Skunks are actually quite extraordinary animals. They are of that personality type that I call "defensive-massive retaliation." This would be, incidentally enough, my own natural personality type. That is, skunks are not aggressive, but when attacked or threatened (and they can be a bit jumpy about threats) they are very unpleasant. The same is true for me when I feel attacked or threatened. Skunks spray (and the truth, like skunks, can stink to the high heavens), and they also claw and bite. In other words, don't mess with a skunk. However, people react the wrong way to skunks--by fearing and avoiding skunks, rather than respecting skunks, and me, as they ought.

Skunks are very friendly animals. They are hyper and energetic, and love to be cuddled and pet. Though many people do not take the time to get to know them, out of misplaced fear, they are very outgoing and social creatures, even if they are outcasts. They appreciate and love those who appreciate and love them, and those people are few and far between. They are clever and intelligent, and a tad on the vengeful side, and often have the strange habit of biting toes (this is a quality I do not share, for those remotely curious). Despite being members of the weasel family, like ferrets and minks, they are not known for being particularly sneaky or duplicitous, but are rather avoided altogether.

During a sermon once, my pastor at the time (Mr. Webber), called the prophet Nathan the first skunk in the bible. At that point I realized my parents had given me the perfect name and the perfect namesake. Although I had been interested in biblical Nathans before that time (I do, after all, have a healthy and somewhat Hebraic interest in the importance of naming), that made me study the relationship between the name and the namesake, and my favorite animal, all the more closely. After all, the relationship between skunks and I had now become a somewhat obvious thing, to others as well as myself.

As I reflect upon my own life experience as an outcast, I reflect that there was meaning and importance to the suffering. It made me a lot more sensitive about other people (and animals) than I would been, and allowed me to relate to others who suffer equally unjustly. My suffering allowed me to serve a useful purpose, by comforting the afflicted and by loosening the chain on the oppressed, something that many pay lip service to but few actually do. It made me a patron saint of unpopular but necessary causes, because I figured (rightly) that if one is going to suffer, one should at least suffer for righteousness' sake, rather than for stupidity and error. And skunks, therefore, became my motto, because our struggle is the same--the struggle for love and respect in a world that ignores, slights, attacks, and fears us. Who couldn't love a cute little black and white striped animal when one realized how unfairly it had been treated. If I had an ideal pet, it would be a skunk. For, to paraphrase Churchill, cats look down on you, dogs look up to you, but skunks look at you as an equal.

In Defense Of My Generation

Every generation, as young adults, must validate their existence and their approach to the hostile generations before. My generation is no different. I am a late cohort member of Generation X. I was born at the dividing line between two generations--one of them cynical and questioning (and intensely creative), and the other hardworking and productive (but rather boring), and somehow I ended up a little of each. But the younger generation of the two needs little defense from me. It is already a much appreciated generation by elders--it's a bit too technological, that's for sure, but its hardworking nature and group-friendly mentality are much appreciated.

It is Generation X I must defend, however. Despite the fact that I am one of the youngest of Generation X (ages 24-46), the gifts of Generation X are consistently marginalized and neglected in society. Baby Boomers hold onto their positions of authority longer than they should because my generation is mistrusted. It is said that our numbers are too few to fill the gaps left behind by self-righteous boomer types, while it is conveniently forgotten that those same Boomer types that fret over our small numbers aborted many millions of my compatriots both before and after Roe vs. Wade. Even before we were born my generation had war declared on us.

When the earliest members of my generation graduated from school, avoiding the protesting that our foolish Boomer elders engaged in, we were called cynical and it was complained that we lacked sufficient civic spirit. Such protests as we have made were taken as signs of immaturity, rather than as what they were, righteous indignation against a corrupt system set in place by those who came before us. When the earlier members of my generation went into business, and succeeded, it was complained that we were corrupt and shady, too materialistic, even if it slightly older baby boomers, for example, who earned the biggest bucks and were bailed out after the S & L scandal while their younger coworkers took the fall.

When my cohort graduated from high school, the only place that wanted us was engineering and technology, and so my generation flocked to study computers and engineering. Then, right after I graduated from high school, the tech bust occurred and the only industry that ever cared a whit for my people suffered huge losses. Burdened by college debts (another area in which Baby Boomers declared war on my generation, by saddling us with tens of thousands of dollars of debt in order to gain the education that was becoming necessary to work), it was wondered why we were so nomadic, so intent on finding those few opportunities where we are respected and valued. Again, there was concern that we were not willing to pay our dues, and it was again forgotten that no generation has ever been expected to pay as many as we have, with as little future reward.

Meanwhile, while barriers to entry into economic productivity were placed against my compatriots and myself, those corrupt Baby Boomers in power have sought at every end to profit from government and industry while simultaneously denying those benefits to those of us that come right after them. While churches seek to give generous pension benefits to aging Baby Boomer ministers, they are expecting a lot of unpaid and unrecognized labor from Generation X members. While the Baby Boomer steelworkers are profiting from generous pension benefits in the auto industry, Generation Xer steelworkers are now being told that their skills are no longer required and that they will have to fend for themselves without the generous pensions received by their recent elders. While Baby Boomers start to collect Medicare and Social Security benefits paid for my myself and other Generation Xers, all we are promised is insolvency when it is time to collect on our contributions to society. Society has laid nothing up for our old age, even as it squeezes us for every penny it can get from our labor.

Meanwhile, while war has been declared on us from before birth to after retirement, and where society is hostile to us at every turn, threatening our well-being, marginalizing us and attacking us in every area of our existence, we must suffer from the worst timing of any generational type around. The near future does not look friendly to people of my generation. Typically, it is during the peak earning times of generations of my type when major depressions occur (as was commented in my previous post). Ironically enough, HWA was a member of my generational type the last time around, a similarly reviled and marginalized generation called the "Lost Generation."

It should be commented on that my generation has some major gifts that do not seem to be recognized by our nearsighted elders. For one, our generation is very grimly realistic. There is no utopian expectations, unlike the Baby Boomers or the younglings growing up today who expect to live in a world that is just. No, our generation has seen enough of the world to know that justice in this life is a pipe dream, especially given the corruption of those in power in it. No, our generation is grimly realistic, seeing the world as it really is (a grossly underestimated skill), and determined to survive nonetheless the hostility the world shows to us. By existing and surviving at all we serve to taunt our foes, and that is enough. We also have the great gift of salvaging what is useful in the otherwise useless chaos that Baby Boomers torment us with. They, through their own selfish ambitions tear up organizations and the social fabric while we are young, and so we have to deal with divorces and heresies, all while being blamed for that which is the fault of our elders. We must salvage what is useful (that would be truth) while junking what is hopelessly corrupt and beyond repair (this would be the hierarchy and the systems of institutional control present all around us). Furthermore, we have the gift of questioning--that gift which keeps leaders in their place and keeps them from uselessly sacrificing their followers for their own selfish aims. These gifts, though, are not particularly appreciated.

I fully realize that the words I say in defense of my generation may appear to others (particularly Baby Boomers) to be rather hostile. In response, I give them an open invitation to see how life is like, our past, our present, and our prospects for the future, for members of my generation. I am sure others appreciate it when people walk in your shoes. I ask that you older people who so slight and neglect my generation give us the same respect in return. Try walking in our shoes, and see how it is for one's entire existence to demonstrate at every opportunity what appears to be a conspiriscy against our well-being, even as we are blamed for reacting to what was not our fault in creating. While the younger generation is shielded to some extent from the full-brunt of unpleasant reality, we were forced to look at it while small children, unable to realize the scarring that would result from our experiences because we were too small to defend ourselves from the corruption and selfishness of the generation above us. Furthermore, when we have pointed out the unpleasant nature of reality to those above us, we have been consistently reviled and attacked as negative. As if we could be otherwise. If you wish us to be less negative, try being a little less hostile towards us.

History has a dark destiny for those of us born in my generational type. We suffer through depressions, have a Darwinian existence where only the strong survive, die off in droves from Wars (Civil War, WWII) and disease (the influenza pandemic of 1918, AIDS), and when we are old we do not benefit from social services for from the generosity of family, as who wishes to be generous to those who are crabby, regardless of the good reason they have for being so. While being consistently screwed by the world around them from the fetus to the grave, though, our generation leaves behind the most valued blessings any society can look for--churches, literature (my generational type creates the only American literature studied by others), and the commitment to freedom and the worth of life. We should at least be appreciated for these things, if only in retrospect. Do not repeat the mistakes of the past, oh members of more favored generations, for it will be to your ruin. For no one but my generation stands up for the outcasts, for the unwanted, and for the unappreciated. One has to know one's kind, after all.

Friday, March 24, 2006

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like the 1850s, or 1920s

Once every 70 or 80 years, there comes a time such as today is. The mood of crisis is everywhere--as everything portends evil. There are demonstrates over immigration (as there were today all over the US), there is a growing sense of polorization between two antithetical views about society that degenerates into culture war, or occasionally a real civil conflict (see the American Revolution or the Civil War). In America, those Presidents who are interventionists find themselves losing popularity as the general mood of the US becomes more insular and more isolationist.

At this stage economic progress continues until it is stopped by a serious downturn (the Panic of 1857, the crash of 1929), which causes whichever political party is in power to lose respect in the eyes of an impovershed and upset populace. Worsening economic conditions, a political climate poisoned by irrepresible conflict between two warring groups of the most self-righteous generation type, as well as the general discontent among the younger generation for either side (as that younger generation has been declared war on since before birth--see Roe vs. Wade). When the sense of malaise has deepened and the crisis become intolerable, then a cleansing conflict (like WWII) serves to unify people and harden people into serious and very dangerous conflict with an opposite enemy.

Of course, a lot of suffering happens when the crisis finally comes to fruition. In America's history, the crisis has been the crisis of tyranny with regards to a colonial power (the American Revolution), a crisis over tyranny with regards to slavery (the Civil War), and the crisis of totalitarian dictators (World War II). Who knows what the next crisis will be, but it will be what in other circumstances would be a small event (an attack on a small fortress, a couple of minor skirmishes) that becomes a huge conflict. Timing is everything.

It is at that point that the true moral fiber of a society is revealed. Is the society able to endure the tremendous suffering and create a new, and more just, social order? Does the society implode because of its moral corruption and its basic and fundamental disagreements? Is the conflict against an external foe or against an internal one? Or both? These things cannot be known ahead of time, though the conflict itself that is brewing often gives hints. For example, in the time before the American Revolution, the conflict between conservatives (who were pro-English) and radicals (who were pro-Indepdence) as well as the conflicts between settlers and American Indian tribes, set up the conflict that resulted. Also, the prelude to the Civil War was marked by increasing sectionalism between North and South that spilled into war when the Southerners behaved foolishly after the 1860 election. Likewise, the left-leaning FDR and the anti-fascist Churchill proved to be key figures in the world conflict that eventually followed, as the US was able to, temporarily, ally with the USSR in an alliance of convenience against the fascist Axis powers. In hindsight, the evidence is there, but it is difficult to see ahead of time how it will turn out.

So, what are the irrepressible conflicts of our time? That is a hard one, because there are a few to choose from, and it is difficult to see which ones are important. For one, the US is becoming rapidly more unpopular in its own backyard, always a bad sign, as nations are defecting from the US hegenomy (particularly Cuba, Venezuela, and Bolivia, at the present time). Also, the US is heavily involved in foreign wars with an increasingly stern Muslim fundamentalism (witness also the growing regional domination of Iran in southern Iraq and western Afghanistan). The clash between Western and Muslim standards appears rather important. There are other important global considerations, such as a growing isolation between the US and other nations about such issues as the environment and the military. Exactly what series of events, and what confluence of factors, leads to the deciding crisis, is as of yet unclear. Nonetheless, the mood of people is on edge, and there is a weariness and a dissatisfaction all around. Who will be able to take advantageo f that? The answer to that question is the difference between noble history and terrible tragedy. And that answer is not yet clear, and may not be for some time. But when it is clear, the dominoes will fall into place and fall on their appointed schedule.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A Brief Examination of The Different Types of Morality

The question of morality is one that has long interested me, and in trying to do my best to provide short answers to the questions of Dr. Ward (at long last), I recently wrote the following as part of my analysis of the definition of good and evil. As such, it would be helpful to look at it, because the definition of good and evil is a more complicated question than most people are willing to admit. After all, what looks good to us may not be, in fact, good. This is more true of those in power than regular people, as the corrupting influence of power is well noted and present in all levels of our society at present, but it is true to some extent for all of us.

Using a rubric which is a common one in the construction of moralty in role playing games, we can separate the question of authority from that of good and evil itself, something that many people out of intellectual laziness or obstinancy refuse to do. There are nine different viewpoints represented by this rubric. Each of these represents the confluence of one’s attitudes towards authority and towards God’s law. Before we can discuss the nature of the true authority of good and evil, and the definition of good and evil, we should discuss these nine viewpoints. Good represents those who have chosen the Lord's side. Evil represents those who wish to oppress and rule over others (i.e. those who have chosen Satan's side). Lawful represents those who are favorable to the existing social order. Chaotic represents those who are hostile to the existing social order. Neutral represents those who are indifferent or ambivalent about God's law and/or the existing social order.

Lawful Good: The Paladin

Lawful good represents the viewpoint of those who have cast their lot with God rather than with Satan, do not view themselves as the arbiters of good and evil, and who are friendly towards authority. The paladin is a soldier enfused with organizational fervor (or zeal), usually for a particular religious order or organization, and is very strong in confidence both about his defintion of goodness and wickedness, as well as the legitimacy of the social order he represents. This type of person is especially prized by societies, as they represent energy, loyalty, and dedication to the existing social structure. They are, in other words, forces of energetic conservatism.

Neutral Good: The Decent Citizen

Those filled with less fervor for the social order but still of soundness with regards to right and wrong belong to this category. People who are neutral good are either indifferent or ambivalent towards the social order—either they do not see the issue as important, or they see problems, but either no workable solution or no true alternative to the way things currently are. As they are good, they believe in what is right, and strongly, but they wish to avoid, whenever possible, issues of administration. While such people are not as highly treasured in societies and organizations as those who are lawful good, they are still valued and hardworking members of society. Upon such decent, moderate, citizenry, all good societies and organizations depend.

Chatoic Good: The Prophet/Reformer

The concept of loyal opposition was made for these unusual and rather iconoclastic figures. The chaotic good is perhaps the most rare of moral types: someone who is enfused with holy fire and passion for what is right, but is present in a highly corrupt and wicked society or organization in need of serious reformation. Organizations and societies do not like this moral type, as they present a dual problem—their goodness and passion are obvious and easily recognizable, and their hostility or suspicion of the existing social order makes them a danger to the existing structure of society, which has been measured and found lacking. Such figures are prophets of doom for societies who have strayed from moral principles and love for fellow man and whose social structures have become rigid and oppressive. As such, they are often persecuted both by the wicked and by the powerful because they strenuously oppose both.

Lawful Neutral: The Organization Man

Those who define good and evil based on their group identity or organization or nation belong in this category. Such people are not actively evil, but rather let their group identity overwelm their commitment to morality. For them, good and evil are abstract principles, and what matters to them is their position within their society or group. It is their country, or family, or organization, right or wrong. Such people are not morally reflective, but are loyal and devoted to their group no matter what. If their group is moral, they may look like decent citizens, but they offer no resistance if their group becomes more and more wicked, such as Germany in the 1930’s.

True Neutral: The Opportunist

The true neutral is looking out for one thing and one thing only—number one. Such people have no firm moral convictions, viewing their own personal opinions as the basis of their morality. They are neither hostile nor friendly to structure, as they are indifferent to the forms of society except insofar as those forms serve to benefit them. They are chameleons, blending in easily wherever they go, always looking for their own success and their own fortune, oblivious to anything except seeking pleasure and/or avoiding pain and suffering. They stand for nothing, but can get along with anything as long as it is friendly or at least neutral, to their own desires and interests.

Chaotic Neutral: The Expatriate

The Chaotic Neutral is someone who is indifferent to good and evil (we may consider such people to be selfish) but who is hostile to their society. In other words, they have left their society because of its wrong, but do not wish to reform society. Rather, they wish to be left alone, even if it means being a person without a society or group to belong to. They may be outsiders wherever they go, but it does not bother them, as they have enough money to suit their own pleasures without the benefit of group identity. They are not willing to suffer for their hostility to the existing social structure, unlike the reformer or prophet, but neither do they wish to destroy their society either, like the terrorist, either.

Lawful Evil: The Nazi/Inquisition

Those who are lawful evil are the most wicked of personality types. That is, they are firm believers in order and structure, but turn that order and structure to wicked ends in order to torment and torture other people. These people are loyally devoted to their particular group, but are firm believers in the usefulness and necessity of barbaric activities to further their group identity. Such people are represented by Hitler, Stalin, Torquemada, and others who have used positions of authority in order to pursue their own dark and wicked desires to oppress others. Socities that fall prey to these figures have a dark destiny: whether those leaders be southern slaveowners as in the period before the Civil War in the US, or in the Catholic hierarchy throughout the Counter Reformation (and with the priestly sex scandals today). Such people as the lawful evil destroy what is good in society, by preserving its structure while killing its spirit and decency.

Neutral Evil: The Sadist/Exploiter

The neutral evil person is not interested in questions about who should rule society. All they are interested is exploiting other people. Thoroughly devoted to swindling and abusing other people, it does not matter to them whether their society is a dictatorship, a democracy, or anything else. All that matters is that they can harm and dominate other people. Such people are an active threat to the members of soceity, as they wish to create empires on the back of the poor and weak and foolish, even if they are no threat to the external structure of the society themselves. They are selfish, but wickedly and aggressively so, not wishing merely that they should be successful, but that others should slave away for their success, even as they care nothing for how that society is organized.

Chaotic Evil: The Terrorist

The chaotic evil personality represents someone who wishes to destroy all so that everything turns to a state of hostile chaos. The Terrorist, like the prophet, is filled with great zeal and indignation about the wickedness of society. However, unlike the prophet, they do not wish to reform society. Rather, they wish to destroy it, by bombing at will, destroying all social order, paralyzing government and filling everyone around them with fear. Such people turn their prodigious energy and talent towards the destruction of a society that has become so hostile as to become intolerable.

There are some important points to remember here. One is that if society is good, then almost everyone would be lawful good, because there would be little just reason to be hostile or ambivalent towards the existing social order. When society is good, there is little need for prophets to protest wrongs in society. It is when societies become evil that the moral gradations become more severe. In fact, the more wicked the society, the more obvious the true moral stance of its citizens. It is wickedness around us that forces us to set our priorities--do we side with law and order or do we side with righteousness, even if that is against the law (and it often is, because leaders are often wicked). In a society that is corrupt those who are lawful good are generally ignorant (whether deliberately or not) of the true state of affairs in that society, because if they were they would either side with the organization (and become lawful neutral or evil) or they would begin to question the existing social structure (and move towards Neutral Good or Chaotic good). Some people do not wish to make that choice. Others of us have it forced upon us.