Rebirth of a Nation

Yesterday the people of Montenegro voted to declare their independence from Serbia by a margin of 0.4% (according to the various press reports) over the 55% supramajoritarian level set by the European Union. This little nation of 670,000 inhabitants hopes that its independence will speed its acceptance into the EU. For the last three years it has (without authorization from the EU, to boot) used the Euro as its sole currency, not accepting the Serbian dinar.

I happen to have a liking for Macedonia, I must admit. While it has only been recognized as an independent nation between 1878 and 1918, when it was a small "tintin" monarchy ruled by one of those Eastern European dynasties with unpronounceable names that fell after WWI, Macedonia is the only area of the Balkans to have never been conquered by the Ottoman Turks. The remote forested mountains of this area (which gave the land its name--Montenegro means "black mountain" in Italian, named after the Venetians who lusted after conquering its shores for their maritime empire). The land of Montenegro is roughtly coincident with one of the earliest "Serbian" states, that of Zeta, which was first organized around 1000AD. It's not as if Montenegro is a new nation in any sense.

The loss of Montenegro spells the bitter end of Serbian hegenomy over "Greater Serbia," as it is the fifth territory to declare independence after the collapse of Yugoslavia in 1992. It follows Slovenia (the only former Yugoslav Republic to enter the EU, and another favorite little state of mine), Croatia, Bosnia, and Macedonia to declare its independence. Kossovo, a mostly Albanian territory conquered by Serbia during the First Balkan War, looks to declare its independence later this year. After 1878, Serbia looked to swallow its smaller neighbors and rule over the southern slavs as their "elder brother," a dream that turned into a nightmare in the 1990's with ugly nationalistic wars and massacres in Croatia, Bosnia, and Kossovo. Serbia's territory is now limited to "core Serbia," its territories in 1878, as well as Vojvodina, the territory it gained after WWI as a reward for fighting against Austria-Hungary.

Of course, Montenegro's reward for allying with its Serbian cousins and standing up to Austria-Hungary was losing its independence and being treated until WWII (when the little land was popular with the Communist partisans of Tito) as a province of Serbia. I am hopeful that this little mountainous coastal land (for various reasons I have an affinity for independent-minded hill people) can manage to thrive as an independent nation. It has ports (something that Serbia, now a landlocked country, lacks), and its beautiful coastline attracts tourists. Despite having only 9% of the population of what remained of Yugoslavia, its economy was responsible for (statistics say) 15% of the economy. This means that though Montenegro will be a small nation, it is a promising one economically.

The main problem I see with Montenegro is its leadership. A chameleon-like former Communist protege of Milosevic rules over Montenegro, and there are unpleasant stories of Moldovan sex slaves and cigarette (!) smuggling. That said, the future looks more promising for Montenegro as an independent nation than as an appendage of a vestigial Yugoslavia. We shall see what happens with this latest little nation, which once again joins the community of independent peoples.

Got 'Roids?

What do the following names have in common:

Barry Bonds
Marion Jones
Tim Montgomery
Zhanna Block
Regina Jacobs
Dwain Chambers
Kelli White
Kevin Toth
Michelle Collins
The entire Seattle Supersonics teams from 1992-1994
Michael Chang
Bill Romanowski
Jim Courier
Dan Marino
Bryce Paup
Ivan Lendl
Terrell Davis
Mac Wilkins
Neil Smith
Terry Kirby
Milos Sarcev
Greg Tafralis
Mike Buncic
Jim Quinn
John Hill
Mike Swain
Lynn Roethke
Kevin Asano
Will Willis
Matt Guisto
Wolfgang Schmidt
Michael Ashley
Nancy Lewis
Corrine Shigemoto
Robert Harrop
Flex Wheeler
Ronnie Coleman
Kevin Levrone
Mike Matarozzo
Chris Cormier
Gunter Schlierkamp
Roland Kickinger
Eddie Robinson
Don Long
Emeric Delczeg
Vickie Gates
Nancy Lewis
Rich Gaspari
Max Shmaya

Give up? All of these people are athletes and body builders listed on the website for Scientific Nutrition For Advanced Conditioning (SNAC for short, they were formerly called Balco and their website is http://www.snac.com) as having used the supplements from Balco during the last fifteen years.

In case you have lived under a rock for the last few years, you know that Balco is famous for steroids. Though their website only sells what appear to be rather tame, and somewhat overpriced, supplements of dubious quality, for many years (and possibily still today) their bread and butter has been selling steriods to athletes. Some of the names on that list above have been caught and punished for steriods--including Tim Montgomery, a disgraced (and now retired) track and field star, Kelli White (who had to forfeit her Olympic gold medals from Sydney after failing a steriod exam), Bill Romanowski (who is a convicted felon, from a plea deal, for trying to deal prescription drugs, if I remember correctly, besides his drug suspensions from the NFL). Some of these names are under a dark cloud of suspicion for steriod use (such as Barry Bonds and Marion Jones).

However, due to the actions of Balco and many of the athletes on this list, all of the remaining people on the list can be considered under suspicion for being steriod users, which is not only unethical, but illegal. Some of these names, such as Tommy Chang and Dan Marino, are pretty spotless thus far, but may yet be dragged into the mire by the general reputation of the other names on the list. When one deals with corrupt people, and that corruption becomes plainly obvious, the issue of reputation becomes rather difficult. Bad company, after all, corrupts good habits. Are any of the names on this list clean? We cannot know. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Nonetheless, we live in very corrupt times. It is difficult to trust anything, and all too easy to doubt everything. Where people and organizations and societies live in the shadows, it is rather uncomfortable to come into the harsh light of day. While we can safely say that anyone that does not relish accountability has something to hide, the truth is that we all (in at least some respects) do as well. Because we all wish for our own private spaces and personal lives, to do what we wish without prying and unsympathetic eyes, we all have earned the world we live in. Our cheaters and scoundrels represent us all, whether we like it or not, because they represent the uncomfortable truth often in our actions (if not in our beliefs) that wealth, security, power, and fame are what matters, and getting and holding onto it are what matters, no matter what that means.

Depressing examples of that abound, but it is sad when we cannot even go to a baseball game without wondering if that too is corrupted by our desire to get and stay ahead at any cost, and cannot even read a novel without having to wonder if that has been cheated and stolen too.

Cinco De Mayo

Today I spent lunch at Don Pablo's, sitting at the bar in a crowded Mexican restaurant eating steak fajitas and wondering what bad luck it was for the new manager of that particular location. Since I tend to eat out alone, I have little else to do during lunch than try to pay attention to those around me. Today was not a good day for the manager of the restaurant. He was understaffed, even though he had nearly twice as many servers coming as usual. He ran out of certain supplies--the blender stopped working, he was out of many draft beers (fortunately, I ordered root beer), and life was not good. Even worse, representatives from the "corporate office" were in the restaurant today, there was a wait of an hour and a half for a table (and two hours for a takeourt order). Needless to say, the situation looked rather grim. The restaurant was still packed when I finished lunch around 2PM (I started lunch rather late at 1PM). Next year, I am sure the manager will know better and will plan ahead for Cinco de Mayo, which happens to be a hugely important day in Mexican culture.

It is a rare culture that celebrates its defeats. The Serbians, for example, annually celebrate their crushing defeat at the Battle of Kossovo in 1389, where they were anhiliated by the Ottomon army, leaving Serbia an Ottomon territory for 350 years. One can understand that the Serbians will probably remember the second defeat of Kossovo in 1998 a long time as well. The Mexicans too, celebrate a day of defeat. The Battle of Pueblo was fought on May 5, 1862, during the French invasion of Mexico. The Mexicans were defeated in this invasion in the short term, as the French set up Archduke Maxmillian as the Emperor of Mexico.

The only reason the French were able to do this was because the United States was fighting the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln (and the North in general) were staunch supporters of the Mexican republican government, led by a decent and democratic Mestizo named Benito Juarez. He happened to be the only decent leader Mexico had during the 19th century, and possibly ever. Since he inherited some debts from previous leaders, the French used that as a cover to take over the country and eliminate democracy in Mexico. The South was generally sympathetic to the cause of global tyranny, and sought to be recognized by France, so they did not hinder the French invasion at all.

After the American Civil War ended, the United States sent 50,000 troops under General Philip Sheridan to the border of Mexico to let the French know of American displeasure about their imperial adventure. The French took the hint and removed their troops, and Maxmillian was executed by a firing squad. Sadly, Juarez was only able to hold office for four more years after the occupation was ended.

Perhaps the Mexicans and Serbians celebrate the days of their military defeats for reasons which only small nations can understand. Mind you, these small nations (both Mexico and Serbia) are quite capable of bullying other, smaller nations (witness the fate of Central American illegal immigrants in Mexico or the fate of Bosnian or Kossovar Muslims in the former Yugoslavia). That said, these nations are both very military, and perhaps they consider it a proud moment to fight against a bigger bully than they are, even if they lose. Perhaps some people just need to remember that they can fight, regardless of whether they win or not.

I don't know if I want to drink to that, but that's what one drinks to when one celebrates this day.

Why Georgia Why?

E-mail is a strange thing. I grew up with computers and the internet. I first used it when I was ten years old, when a friend of mine had an old Prodigy account. I got my first e-mail address around my 14th birthday when I got a Suncoast FreeNet account. Alas, Suncoast FreeNet and all of the other FreeNets have gone way the way of the dodo--they offered text-based e-mail for free, but the demand for ever more visually intensive e-mails made their service obsolete (except to those people, like my parents, for whom comfort is not a concern, but price is).

A lot of us depend rather heavily on e-mail, for a variety of purposes. For example, I use e-mail as a relatively frequent form of communication, and use it to stay connected with my many friends and acquaintances who are far, far away. I use it for amusement, playing several games of Play-By-E-mail (PBEM for shot) Diplomacy. It should go without saying that I use e-mail frequently at work: I submit plans to some states (namely Georgia) using e-mail. I also receive almost all of the plans I review by e-mail and send back corrections by e-mail frequently as well (this is because I am most clear, and even personal, in the more impersonal forms of communication).

The state of Georgia, apparently, does not like me, at least by e-mail. A lot of the people I work with are in Georgia. Some of the readers of my blog are also in the state of Peaches and Pecans. However, when it comes to work e-mails, I have been unable to send or receive anything Georgian. This is obviously a problem.

What is the reason for the sudden cold shoulder from state that has been relatively nice to me in times past? The answer is unclear. At this point, my coworkers suspect that our server is on the fritz. Apparently Georgia is not the only state that our server does not like--it does not appear to like Indiana either. Apparently it likes Florida, though, as we continue to see the junk mail sent by the Ft. Lauderdale junk e-mail billionaire's club. Too bad they can't spell correctly and incorrectly assume a lot of things about me (and what I supposedly want or need in my life). Oh well. Our server does like North Carolina, which is nice, but I don't have to send any work e-mails there, so that is about as useful as sneakers for a snake.

Which is to say, it is not very useful at all.

The Waiter Rule

Apparently, many CEO's have an interesting test for determining the fitness of people for executive positions that would be useful in organizations across the board. The test is called "The Waiter Rule" and the rule is very simple--the character of people can be determined by how one treats waiters in a restaurant. Anyone can be nice to those who have power, but it is how we treat others who we can be seen as having some control over (for example, waiters are the most common types of "servants" most people deal with in their regular lives, though it would also apply to security guards, maids, and so forth).

As someone who frequently dines alone, I personally enjoy establishing a repoire with the waiters or waitresses at restaurants. Being a somewhat habitual person, I tend to eat at the same places often, so long as their food and service is consistent and decent. I've never been a waiter myself (the thought of my clumsiness being subjected to remarkable feats of balance with plates, glasses, and trays is a less than appealing thought), but I have a lot of friends and family who have been waitresses. Mostly, it seems as if the experience is generally poor.

I know that as a customer into a restaurant for the first time, generally as a young man with a somewhat intent and serious look on the face eating alone, many restaurant staffs tend to be somewhat skeptical. There are many times where my initial service has been somewhat indifferent, but I resolved to tip well anyway merely to prove a point. I am more interested in establishing rather friendly relations with waiters at restaurants, rather than pitilessly enforcing a just standard of renumeration. After all, I figure (generally correctly) that if waiters and waitresses do not have to fear that I will stiff them on tips, they will serve me very well. This has proven to be the case most of the time, as I can engage in somewhat witty banter about my favorite dishes on the menu, and why I order the same thing so often.

A friend of mine has an interesting rule when it comes to tips himself, and it is one well worth considering. Average service merits the regular 15% tip, good service merits 25%, and really good service gets a minimum tip of $3, regardless of the price of the meal. Personally, I think such rules of thought demonstrating generosity are a major positive incentive towards servers. In general, I consider positive reinforcements to be better than merely negative punishments. That is, however, another rather large subject for another time.

The point here, though, is that the way we treat waiters reveals a lot about ourselves. The Bible is very clear on this point (and the Passover season is a good time to reflect upon on it) as well, in agreement. God shows no partiality (that is, favorable treatment merely to those who are powerful), and neither should we. We should treat everyone with respect, honor, and consideration. This respect should not come from merely an egoism that looks for personal benefit, but from a mindframe than all human beings are worthy of dignity and kindness, and that station has no importance when it comes to human decency. This is the Bible's clear doctrine, as difficult as it may be to put into practice.

It is especially important (and difficult) to maintain this sort of friendliness and goodwill when mistakes happen, as they inevitably do. For example, the salad one orders at a restaurant one is visiting for the first time may have ingredients one does not like, or cannot eat (is that mango salsa?). Or there may be accidents, or the server may make mistakes. Occasionally, servers may be inattentive, distracted, or busy (it happens to the best of us sometimes), and the glass of sweet tea or root beer may run a little dry. How we handle difficult situations reveals a lot about our character. A wry comment or soft word can make things much easier for all around, even if soft words do not come easily for some of us.

So, how do you treat waiters? How many of you have been waiters before? Or are you, like me, merely a frequent patron of restaurants and a (hopefully) patient one? I would be interested in hearing what people have to say about the food service industry. With so many jobs in service right now (customer service would also fall under this rule as well), it is sad that such jobs are so difficult because of the rude behavior of others. Hopefully that cannot be said about any of us. After all, respect for the lowest of society is one of the most important signals of fitness for the highest reaches of society, both now and hereafter.

Thoughts For The Season

The Spring Holy Day season is upon us, and I have been too busy in my real life to make too many comments recently. That said, the theme of these festivals, of wholeness and oneness, is something I very much appreciate. My comments here are brief, but I hope they may be properly understood.

This past year has been a tough one, not only for myself, but for many of my friends as well, tougher than any year has been for a long while in my life at least. I suppose I could chalk it up to the so-called "quarter life crisis," though it seems to follow my "ten year rule" as well. At any rate, one must make the best of it. This entry, after all, is not merely about myself, but about others who have had a difficult year of it.

Passover, which was last night, is where we memorialize the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Most of the time, our focus is on the sins that we have committed and how the death of Jesus Christ wiped those away. There are, however, other elements that may be particularly important (as they were for me, and no doubt many others, this year). Isaiah 53 is particularly salient on these other elements--including the fact that the sacrifice of Jesus Christ allows us to be restored to a loving relationship with our God and Father, as well as being healed by the wounds suffered by Christ. These are powerful words, but though familiar, they also resonate particularly strongly for myself (and, no doubt, for others). Certainly others long for the peace the chastisement of Christ brings, as difficult as that may be to fathom. Surely he has borne our griefs.

I look forward to the reflections on this season, both with regards to the Exodus, and to the Gospels. After all, this is a season about freedom and deliverance, and these things need to be reflected upon more. After all, there is much we need to be free from, and much to be thankful for, notwithstanding the difficulties we all face. So, here are my wishes, to my loyal readers, for a happy and worthwhile Spring Festival season, as well as a thought-provoking one.

A Brief Commentary on Matthew 18:1-7

Matthew 18 is an excellent guide to conflict resolution, but I would like to comment, briefly, on the first seven verses of this chapter. While there is much more I could say about these verses, particularly with regard to my own childhood, I will refrain, as enough people read this entry that I do not trust. Then again, as usual, I leave the clues to what is on my mind by what I choose to emphasize and remak upon. Those who have an ear, let them hear.

Matthew 18, the first seven verses, read the following way in the (updated) version of the 1560 Geneva New Testament: "The same time the disciples came unto Jesus saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" And Jesus called a llittle child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, "Verily I say unto you, except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whosoever shall receive one such little child in my name, receive me. But whosoever shall offend one of these little ones which believe me, it were better for him, that a millsotone be hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe be unto the world because of offenses: for it must needs be that offences shall come, but woe be to that man by whom the offence come."

This passage begins, as could be expected, with the human desire for place and position. So it seems much begins in this world, in the struggle for place. The disciples, like any carnal human being, were very concerned about their rank and titles. At times Jesus Christ told them the benefits of their loyal service (ruling over the twelve tribes, dwelling places in the kingdom, blessings a hundredfold for the sacrifices of this life, etc.). However, here, he decides to take a slightly different tack. He shows them a little child and tells them that they will be to be like that (spiritually speaking) in order to enter the kingdom of God.

Much has been made about the humility of children as being the important feature of children, and no doubt that is true. Children are also innocent (though this can change if the conditions of verse six apply, as I will have place to comment on later). Children are teachable, and are highly sensitive to their environment. Too often as Christians we can become ensconced in our own little world, unable to see what is around us. This inhibits our ability to see when what happens around us changes, if we are stuck in a narrow-minded worldview that does not allow for external evidence. We as Christians must always be willing to learn, and must be sensitive to learning opportunities around us. They pop up in unexpected ways.

In the next verse the humility is specifically mentioned, and this part deserves mention as well. Humility is certainly required by us all. But we cannot forget to whom Jesus Christ was speaking. He was speaking to his inner circle. He was speaking through them to the rest of us, of course, but he was speaking to those who were his friends and direct subordinates, so to speak. No one is above the need to be humble--not the highest, nor the lowest. And though failure for the highest to properly set an example does not absolve others from obedience to God, those who lead will be punished much more harshly for setting the bad example, as verse six comments rather bluntly.

Next Jesus Christ comments about receiving children. Why is it so important to receive children, and how should we do so? Children are very natural, in that they say way they think, and they are rather open about what happens with them. They tell others their needs and wants (and confuse the two, of course) rather openly. They also are very honest about how others behave. We receive children as Christ in various ways. For one, we take their problems seriously. If we see that something wrong has happened to a child (and I can speak from rather serious personal experience here), we should take it seriously. We should not give them everything they want, but not to give them everything they need is beyond excuse. Our character is determined by how we treat those who are regarded the least, who can benefit us the least, and who have nothing to offer us besides (maybe) a quick and mumbled thanks. How we treat the least and smallest among us is how we will be judged.

It is at this point that Jesus Christ makes a rather sober comment, and one that has a great deal of resonance in my own personal life. The word offend here seems light. After all, I am (frequently) offended when people cut in front of me in traffic. That said, from the looks of the passage as a whole (and the verse in particular), it would appear that the reason why God takes offense towards children so seriously is that things done in childhood can deeply scar someone for a long, long time. Those who rob children of innocence or who make it difficult for them to trust others will suffer for it in the judgment, for God takes such matters rather seriously. To say too much more at this time and in this place would be ill advised, but the example used by Jesus Christ here is quite graphic. Being drowned at the bottom of the sea with one of the heaviest objects around (think of it like having an SUV tied around your neck and tossed to the bottom of the ocean) is a rather unpleasant fate. To reflect that the actual fate is worse is even less pleasant. Justice is not always a pretty thing.

Finally, the passage closes with a rather ominous verse, one that merits comments in several ways. For one, this seems to be Jesus Christ reflecting on his own upcoming betrayal, as the comment applies just a bit too perfectly to Judas Iscariot (the Gospel of Judas notwithstanding). Nonetheless, it has far more importance than this alone. God's plan involves suffering. Some of us must suffer more than others, in ways that are sometimes difficult to fathom, difficult to explain, and difficult to sort out. There is some higher plan involved, whether that is by design or by what God allows to happen, though both can be accounted, however difficult, as His will. Nonetheless, just beause God wills something does not absolve the human actors of their responsibility for our actions. Though the workings of free will and predestination are quite complicated, the Bible is pretty clear that God works His will through the free will of human beings.

Suffice it to say that much more could be said, but it is late, and I need to sleep this Sabbath morning. There are reasons why I study what I do, and why I focus on those things which I focus on. We all seek to explain our lives, to find some kind of meaning and purpose for what we go through, whether that is good or bad. Anything can be endured as long as it has a purpose and a meaning. So said Victor Frankl, and he was a wise man, who himself suffered much, as have we all, without a doubt.

Nigerian E-mail Scams

I get a large amount of junk e-mail, mostly from Church of God members with no gainful employment who desire to argue over such foolish things as how long our tassels have to be and other such nonsense. However, recently I have received a rather large number of more disturbing corresondence. Now, I have gotten these e-mails often before, but never in such a consistent pattern. Now, for the pleasure of my readership, I will post here unedited e-mails, before subjecting them to a brief and savage exegesis. You have been warned (joke).

Texts

ALIM KAREB.
AUDITIN AND ACCOUNTIN MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.


Dear Friend,

I am the AOUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) here
in
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an abandoned
sum of US$14m dollars (FOURTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account that
belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from
Munich,
Germany) who died along with his entire family in Jully 2000 in a plane
crash.
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT THIS SITE BELLOW

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release
it
unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased
as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him
at the
plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this
business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of
kin or
relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since
nobody
is
coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury
as unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained unclaimed after six years, the money will be transfered into
the
bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a
foreigner
and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision of a foriegn account , 10% will be set aside for expenses
incurred
during the business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit
your
country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated
Therefore, to
enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must
apply
first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating
your
bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax
number
for easy and effective communication and location where in the money
will
be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
of the application .

I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free
and
that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required
arrangements
have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.ALIM KAREB. (B.O.A)
TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENCIAL

MR ALIM KAREB.
AUDITIN AND ACCOUNTIN MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.


Dear Friend,

I am the AOUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) here
in
Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an abandoned
sum of US$14m dollars (FOURTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS) in an account that
belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from
Munich,
Germany) who died along with his entire family in Jully 2000 in a plane
crash.
FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT THIS SITE BELLOW

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release
it
unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased
as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him
at the
plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this
business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of
kin or
relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since
nobody
is
coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury
as unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained unclaimed after six years, the money will be transfered into
the
bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a
foreigner
and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision of a foriegn account , 10% will be set aside for expenses
incurred
during the business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit
your
country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated
Therefore, to
enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must
apply
first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating
your
bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax
number
for easy and effective communication and location where in the money
will
be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
of the application .

I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free
and
that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required
arrangements
have been made for the transfer.

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.ALIM KAREB. (B.O.A)
TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENCIAL

Brief editorial comments: Two letters for the price of one! In the first he is a Mister, and in the second he has been upgraded to a Doctor. Most impressive!

FROM;MR.LUCAS KRUIS
JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
E-MAIL:lucaskruis@hotmail.com
TEL;27-73-232-1447

REQUEST FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE/BUSINESS

Dear,

With due respect, trust and humanity, I write this letter to you
seeking
your help and assistance though Its difficult since we have not met
before.
I got your good contact from the South African Information Exchange
(SAIE)
regarding your business profile and sincerity. I believe that you are
capable and reliable in handling this urgent international transaction
of
this sort.
I am lucas kruis, the son of the Comrade Border kruis the Zimbabwean
former
Minister for Youth & Gender Equality who is also a businessman and
politician, in the Zimbabwean political arena . My father was the
famous
politician who stood firm against President Mugabes idea of continuous
fight
in Democratic Republic of Congo and my father also stood against the
seizure
of white owned farms and the distribution of it to the blacks without
compesation to the white owners. Because of my fathers sincerity he was
killed on 14th April 2001 by a planned motor accident along Mashonaland
in
Western Mashona Province of Zimbabwe, the planners of the accident is
to be
said dissidents soldiers suspected to have the backing of the
Government and
President Mugabe himself.

Sir, when this accident occurred at about 10:15 am Zimbabwean time my
father
did not died on the spot rather he was rushed to Harare hospital by
unknown
soldiers and my father managed to call my younger brother and me
through his
assistance, and when my brother and I rushed to the hospital my father
only
managed to sneak a written message to us, explaining his condition
concerning one diplomatic box he concealed under the roof of his
private
bedroom containing US$25 Million (Twenty Five Million United States
Dollars)
and other vital documents which was meant for his political campaign in
the
next election June 2002. He instructed me to take my brother and my
younger
sister with the box and leave Zimbabwe immediately for our safety,
which we
have successfully did and now we are in South Africa with the money
deposited in a Private Security Company with the original documents of
deposit intact.
But because of the countrys exixsting law which bars asyllum seekers /
refugees like us to operate an account that exceed US$2,000.00 and the
fear
of money not raising eyebrows here in South Africa, I decided to write
to
you to seek for your help for this money to be transferred into your
private
bank account as all arrangements for a hitch-free transfer have been
fully
taken care of. I want to assure you also that this transaction is 100%
risk
free as no other person knows about this box apart from my younger
brother
and i.

Sir, as for your reward for your kind assistance we have resolved to
give
you 20% of the total amount, 10% for any expenses that might be
incurred in
the course of this transaction. We planned to invest the rest of the
money
in your country under your guidance . If you are willing to help us try
as
much as possible to reach me with the above numbers to enable us
proceed in
earnest towards concluding all transaction.

Sir, bear it in mind that our lives solely depend on this fund and we
do
hope that this money will be safe when finally transferred into your
account. I do hope of establishing a rewarding and good relationship
with
you and your family after this transaction. Hoping to hear from you as
soon
as possible. Thank you for your co-operation and God bless
Best regards
LUCAS KRUIS. FROM;MR.LUCAS KRUIS
JOHANNESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
E-MAIL:lucaskruis@hotmail.com
TEL;27-73-232-1447

REQUEST FOR URGENT ASSISTANCE/BUSINESS

Dear,

With due respect, trust and humanity, I write this letter to you
seeking
your help and assistance though Its difficult since we have not met
before.
I got your good contact from the South African Information Exchange
(SAIE)
regarding your business profile and sincerity. I believe that you are
capable and reliable in handling this urgent international transaction
of
this sort.
I am lucas kruis, the son of the Comrade Border kruis the Zimbabwean
former
Minister for Youth & Gender Equality who is also a businessman and
politician, in the Zimbabwean political arena . My father was the
famous
politician who stood firm against President Mugabes idea of continuous
fight
in Democratic Republic of Congo and my father also stood against the
seizure
of white owned farms and the distribution of it to the blacks without
compesation to the white owners. Because of my fathers sincerity he was
killed on 14th April 2001 by a planned motor accident along Mashonaland
in
Western Mashona Province of Zimbabwe, the planners of the accident is
to be
said dissidents soldiers suspected to have the backing of the
Government and
President Mugabe himself.

Sir, when this accident occurred at about 10:15 am Zimbabwean time my
father
did not died on the spot rather he was rushed to Harare hospital by
unknown
soldiers and my father managed to call my younger brother and me
through his
assistance, and when my brother and I rushed to the hospital my father
only
managed to sneak a written message to us, explaining his condition
concerning one diplomatic box he concealed under the roof of his
private
bedroom containing US$25 Million (Twenty Five Million United States
Dollars)
and other vital documents which was meant for his political campaign in
the
next election June 2002. He instructed me to take my brother and my
younger
sister with the box and leave Zimbabwe immediately for our safety,
which we
have successfully did and now we are in South Africa with the money
deposited in a Private Security Company with the original documents of
deposit intact.
But because of the countrys exixsting law which bars asyllum seekers /
refugees like us to operate an account that exceed US$2,000.00 and the
fear
of money not raising eyebrows here in South Africa, I decided to write
to
you to seek for your help for this money to be transferred into your
private
bank account as all arrangements for a hitch-free transfer have been
fully
taken care of. I want to assure you also that this transaction is 100%
risk
free as no other person knows about this box apart from my younger
brother
and i.

Sir, as for your reward for your kind assistance we have resolved to
give
you 20% of the total amount, 10% for any expenses that might be
incurred in
the course of this transaction. We planned to invest the rest of the
money
in your country under your guidance . If you are willing to help us try
as
much as possible to reach me with the above numbers to enable us
proceed in
earnest towards concluding all transaction.

Sir, bear it in mind that our lives solely depend on this fund and we
do
hope that this money will be safe when finally transferred into your
account. I do hope of establishing a rewarding and good relationship
with
you and your family after this transaction. Hoping to hear from you as
soon
as possible. Thank you for your co-operation and God bless
Best regards
LUCAS KRUIS.

Brief editorial comments: Our lives solely depend on this fund? Unlikely.

From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer





From The Desk of MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange Officer
Foreigner Remittance Dept
African Development Bank
Burkina Faso

Dear Friend,
I am the officer of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance
department
of African development bank.

In my department i discovered an abandoned sum ofUS$10.5 US dollars
(ten
million five hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to
one
of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in July
2001
plane crash.
website: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next
ofkin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unlesssome body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the
deceased as
indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt
that
all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at
theplane
crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this
business
proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or
relation
to the deceased for safety andsubsequent disbursement since nobody is
coming
for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as
unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and
aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the
provision
of a foriegn account , 10%will be set aside for expenses incurred
during the
business .
Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to
the
percentage indicated.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of thisfund to you as
arranged,
you must apply first to the bank as relation or nextof kin of the
deceased
indicating your bank name, your bank account number,your private
telephone
and fax number for easy and effective communicationand location where
in the
money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
ofthe application . I will not fail to bring to your notice that
thistransaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any
atom of
fearas all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.You
should
contact me immediately as soon as youreceive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours faithfully
MR MUSA SULE
Bill and Exchange officer

Brief editorial comments: You'd think if someone wanted to swindle my money, they'd be smart enough not to send me the same message five times.

International remittance Dept,
Global Bank Nig. Plc,
Corporate Office,
136 Adeola Odeku road,
Victoria Island,
Lagos - Nigeria.
24-03-06

Hello,

I am Dr. JOE IFEANYI a banker, staff in the office of the director
international remittance department, Global Bank of Nigeria Plc,
Lagos-Nigeria. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for
you.On June 2001, an American Oil
consultant/contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum
Corporation,engr. ROY ALLEN made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve
calendar months, valued at US$17,000,000.00(seventeen million Dollars ) in my
branch.Upon maturity,I sent a routine notification to his forwarding
address but got no reply.

After a month,we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his
contract employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation that Engr.
Roy died from an automobile accident with his wife and three
children.On further investigation,I found out that he died without making a WILL,
and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless I therefore
made further investigation and discovered that He did not declare any kin
or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit
paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$17,000,000.00 is still sitting in
my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at
the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it.
According to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5(five) years, the
money will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian Government if nobody
applies to claim the fund.Consequently, my proposal is that I will like
you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to him so that the
fruits of this old man's labour will not get into the hands of some corrupt
government officials.

This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full name
and address so that the Attorney will prepare the necessary documents
and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin, your
direct phone number for easy communication.
The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio
of 50% for me and 45% for you and 5% for any expenses incured on the
process of the transaction including taxes, .There is no risk at all as
all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the attorney and
my position with the bank guarantees the successful execution of this
transaction.If you are interested, please send the informations to me.

Upon your response, I shall then send to you an application which you
will fill and forward to the bank requesting the release of the fund to
you.Please observe utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that
this transaction would be most profitable for both of us as I will need
your advice in the area of investment in your country. My cell #
234-8028286924
Altern. email: dr_joe01@zipmail.com.br

Best regards,
Dr. Joe

Brief editorial comments: What's up with these doctors?

FROM THE DESK OF MR AMINU VATA.
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A).
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO
WEST AFRICA.

Dear Friend,

I am the manager of bill and exchange department BANK OF AFRICA
(B.O.A) In
my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $15m US dollars (
fifteen
million US dollars) . In an account that belongs to one of our foreign
customer who died along with his entire family in november 1998 in a
plane
crash.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his
next of
kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it
unless
somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as
indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that
all his
supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane
crash
leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my
department now decided to make this businness proposal to you and
release
the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for
safety
and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we donÃÕ
want
this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money
remained
unclamed after five years, the money will be transfered into the Bank
treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in
this
business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner
and a
Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. We agree that 30
% of
this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the
provision
of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incured
during the
business and 60 % would be for me and my colleagues.

Then after I and my colleagues will visit your country for disbursement
accoding to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the
immediate
trnansfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the
bank
as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name,
your
bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and
effective communication and location where in the money will be
remitted .
Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text
of
the application.

I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch
free
and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required
arrangements have been made for the transfer . you should contact me
immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from
you
immediately. PLEASE MY DEAR FRIEND THIS IS MY PRIVATE LINE YOU CAN
CALL
ME IMMIDEATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL. 00226 (76 63 87 21)

THANKS
MR AMINU VATA.
B.O.A (BANK OF AFRICA)

Brief editorial comments: My dear friend? Who are you again? Probably some Nigerian dude in a cyber cafe.

FROM:MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL:27 7322 91 403
EAIL;THANDI_MPOYO5@HOTMAIL.COM
ATTN: DIRECTOR/C.E.O,

I am the wife of Late Mr. Daniel Mpoyo a farmer from Zimbabwe. I got
your
address from South African Information Exchange in Johannesburg. During
the
current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of our
President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party
members and his followers, he ordered all the white-owned farmers to
surrender all their farm lands to his party members and his followers.

My husband was one of the best farmers in our country and also in
partnership with white farmers. He did not support the Idea of our
President
against the white farmers,supporters of President Mugabe invaded my
husband's farm and burnt everything in the Farm Lands, killing my
husband
and made away with a lot of items in our Farm Lands.After the death of
my
husband,my son and his family decided to move out from Zimbabwe but i
am
still in our country due to my health situation thou my life is in
danger,i
strongly believe God to be with me and my family and to safe money my
husband kept in my care for our future investment overseas. The amount
is
US $ 9.Million(Nine Million United States Dollars)and my son decided to
move
to the Republic of South Africa with his family where he deposited the
money
in a Security Company as valuables. So, we decided to contact overseas
Firm
that will assist us move this money out of South Africa.We have agreed
to
give you from the total sum 20% for helping us to move this money to
your
country and 5%:will be mapped out for expenses both of us might incured
during this transaction while the balance will be for my family to
invest
in your country.

Kindly furnish me with all your banking details and your personal phone
and
fax numbers for easy communication. You can contact my son Mr.Johnson
Mpoyo
on the above telephone numbers for further information.Note that this
transaction is 100% risk-free and it requires mutual trust and absolute
confidentiality and my son have taken care of all formalities regarding
this
transaction. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated in this
regard.Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,
MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL ;27 7322 91 403
FROM:MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL:27 7322 91 403
EAIL;THANDI_MPOYO5@HOTMAIL.COM
ATTN: DIRECTOR/C.E.O,

I am the wife of Late Mr. Daniel Mpoyo a farmer from Zimbabwe. I got
your
address from South African Information Exchange in Johannesburg. During
the
current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of our
President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party
members and his followers, he ordered all the white-owned farmers to
surrender all their farm lands to his party members and his followers.

My husband was one of the best farmers in our country and also in
partnership with white farmers. He did not support the Idea of our
President
against the white farmers,supporters of President Mugabe invaded my
husband's farm and burnt everything in the Farm Lands, killing my
husband
and made away with a lot of items in our Farm Lands.After the death of
my
husband,my son and his family decided to move out from Zimbabwe but i
am
still in our country due to my health situation thou my life is in
danger,i
strongly believe God to be with me and my family and to safe money my
husband kept in my care for our future investment overseas. The amount
is
US $ 9.Million(Nine Million United States Dollars)and my son decided to
move
to the Republic of South Africa with his family where he deposited the
money
in a Security Company as valuables. So, we decided to contact overseas
Firm
that will assist us move this money out of South Africa.We have agreed
to
give you from the total sum 20% for helping us to move this money to
your
country and 5%:will be mapped out for expenses both of us might incured
during this transaction while the balance will be for my family to
invest
in your country.

Kindly furnish me with all your banking details and your personal phone
and
fax numbers for easy communication. You can contact my son Mr.Johnson
Mpoyo
on the above telephone numbers for further information.Note that this
transaction is 100% risk-free and it requires mutual trust and absolute
confidentiality and my son have taken care of all formalities regarding
this
transaction. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated in this
regard.Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,
MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL ;27 7322 91 403
FROM:MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL:27 7322 91 403
EAIL;THANDI_MPOYO5@HOTMAIL.COM
ATTN: DIRECTOR/C.E.O,

I am the wife of Late Mr. Daniel Mpoyo a farmer from Zimbabwe. I got
your
address from South African Information Exchange in Johannesburg. During
the
current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supports of our
President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party
members and his followers, he ordered all the white-owned farmers to
surrender all their farm lands to his party members and his followers.

My husband was one of the best farmers in our country and also in
partnership with white farmers. He did not support the Idea of our
President
against the white farmers,supporters of President Mugabe invaded my
husband's farm and burnt everything in the Farm Lands, killing my
husband
and made away with a lot of items in our Farm Lands.After the death of
my
husband,my son and his family decided to move out from Zimbabwe but i
am
still in our country due to my health situation thou my life is in
danger,i
strongly believe God to be with me and my family and to safe money my
husband kept in my care for our future investment overseas. The amount
is
US $ 9.Million(Nine Million United States Dollars)and my son decided to
move
to the Republic of South Africa with his family where he deposited the
money
in a Security Company as valuables. So, we decided to contact overseas
Firm
that will assist us move this money out of South Africa.We have agreed
to
give you from the total sum 20% for helping us to move this money to
your
country and 5%:will be mapped out for expenses both of us might incured
during this transaction while the balance will be for my family to
invest
in your country.

Kindly furnish me with all your banking details and your personal phone
and
fax numbers for easy communication. You can contact my son Mr.Johnson
Mpoyo
on the above telephone numbers for further information.Note that this
transaction is 100% risk-free and it requires mutual trust and absolute
confidentiality and my son have taken care of all formalities regarding
this
transaction. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated in this
regard.Thanks and God bless.

Best regards,
MRS.THANDI MPOYO
TEL ;27 7322 91 403

Brief editorial comments: I'm not messing with any farmers from Zimbabwe. I have an acquaintance who is actually a high ranking judge in Zimbabwe, actually, and even if something like this were real (which I highly doubt, it probably comes from the corrupt ruling party there trying to make some $$$), I'd avoid it like the plague.

FROM:MRS.CAROLINE ZUMA.
6B RIVONIA ROAD.
FROM SOUTH AFRICA.
caro_line_bc@hotmail.com


ATT:CEO.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
You may be surprised to receive this letter since you don't know me, I
am
Mrs.CAROLINE ZUMA, the wife of late Dr. J .ZUMA, who was cently
murdered
inthe land dispute in Zimbabwe.

I got your contact through South African Information exchange (S.A.I.E)
here
in Johannesburg and I decided to write for an assistance. My late
husband
was among the few blacks Zimbabwe rich farmers murdered in cold blood
by
the agents of the ruling government of President Robert Mugabe for his
alleged support and sympathy of the Zimbabwean opposition party
controlled
by the ites.

Before his death, he took I and my son JACK to Johannesburg to deposit
the
sum of US$21.5 Million (TWENTY ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND United
states Dollars)in JACK" name as the beneficiary with a private Security
and
Finance Company as if he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe. The
money
was deposited as a consignment in a box to the security company to
avoid
seizure, and to avoid much demurrage from the security company, This
money
was for the purchase of new machines for the farm and establishment of
a new
farm in swasiland.

This land problem arose when President Robert Mugabe introduce a new
land
act which wholly effects the rich white farmers and some blacks
vehemently
condemned the modus operadi adopted by the government that resulted to
rampant killings and mob actin by the war veterans and some political
thugs,
preciselym more than sixty one (61) people have been killed. Heads of
government from Western World especially Britain and United States of
America have voice their condemnation of Mugabe's plans.

Subsequently, the South African development community (SADC) has ously
supported Mugabe's new land reform act. It is against this background
that
I and my family who are currently staying in south Africa have decided
to
transfer my husband's money into a foreign account.please, if you are
willing to help me,I and my son have agreed to give you 20% while 75%
As the
only wife to my late husband 5% will be for the expenses during this
transaction.

I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking for an account where
this
money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who
had
tactically freezing our family wealth and South African Government
seems to
be playing alongside with them.

We have decided not to invest this amount of money in South Africa for
the
fear of seizure and tering the same experience in future since both
countries have almost the same political history.

More so the South African Foreign Exchange policy does not allow such
investment hence we are asyllum seekers,I must let you know that this
transaction is 100% risk free. Therefore if you accept this
proposal,please
contact my son JACK ZUMA who is the beneficiary with his email address:
jackzuma177@yahoo.com or call with the telephone number +
27-723-917-777

Please do send an email , but you should know that this is highly
conffidential and shall be kept within you alone. Have a good day.
Best regards,
MRS.CAROLINE ZUMA.
{FOR THE FAMILY}

Brief editorial comments: Whose family is this for? Certainly not mine.

Dear Good Friend.

I greet you in the name of the Lord.

I am Mrs.Alies Adams from Solomon Islands. I am married to Mr.Adams who
worked with our Embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he diedon
the 15th August 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child.
He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Ever before his death we were both born again Christians and have sown
into many ministries. Since his death I decided not to remarry, but
feeling quite lonely if not the Lord who has been my partner and
comforter.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of$8.5 Million
witha Bank in Cote D lvoire. Presently this money is still in the custody
ofthe Bank in Cote D lvoire.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight
monthsdue to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to
donate this fund to a church,organization or good person that will utilize
this moneythe way I am going to instruct herein.

I want a church,organization or good person that willuse this funds to
help the orphans, widows and other people that needfinancial
assistance. Using part of this money to provide facilities for God,s work, taking
the gospel to greater height is my major reason of donating this funds
out. The Bible made us to understand that"Blessed is the hand that
giveth". l took this decision because I don't have any child that will
inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and it had
been their wish to see my husband dead in order that they might inherit
his wealth since we have no son. These people are therefore not worthy
of this inheritance.

This is why I am taking this decision. Meanwhile I am not afraid of
death hence I know where I am going. It is only a sinner who's death is
painful I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because
of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me
always. I don't want them to know about this development and l know that
With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the
Bank in Cote d' lvoire. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the
bank that will prove you the present beneficiary of this money. I also
want you to always uplift me in prayer.

My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that
Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in truth andfaith, "serving him
with all you have, knowing that naked we come and naked we must go"
Contact me on the this email address and any delay in your reply will give
me room in sourcing another good person, church,organization for this
same purpose.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.

Hoping to receive your response immedaitely.

Thanks and Remain blessed in the Lord.

Your Sister in Christ.

Mrs.Alies Adams.

Email ; ( alies_adams@yahoo.fr )


Brief editorial comments: Sin kills. God heals.

Attn: Friend.

I am Dr. Harry Chisale, the director, Auditing and Accounting unit of
the
Continental Bank, and the account officer to Brochem Bereau, a multi
million
and multi dimensional Japanese Firm based here in Benin Republic, The
Director Eng. Chun, Myung-Sik, unfortunately died in the tragic plane
crash
of Union Transport Africaines Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin
republic
on the December 25, 2003. You will read more stories about the crash on
visiting the below:

website: www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/26/benin.crash/

Before his death Eng. Chun, Myung-Sik has a ten (10) years time deposit
account with my bank made in June 1993, which has matured and several
official notice despatched to his confidential contact as instructed
without
response. No other person knows about this account or any thing
concerning
it except him, and my comprehensive investigation proved that his
supposed
next of kin died with him in the crash.

I decided to contact you to assist in repatriating the fund before it
get
confiscatedor declared unserviceable by the bank. I seek your consent
to
present you as the bona-fide next of kin to the deceased customer so
that
the proceeds of the account valued at US$5.6Million can be paid to you
immediately and then you and I will share the money. I have used my
official
capacity to perfect all the administrative logistic to back up the
claim
before contacting you.

All I require is a secured bank account outside Benin Republic and your
honest co-operation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee
that
this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect
you
from any breach of the law. All documents of transaction and data will
be
destroyed with Telex and Info Tech Unit (TITU) immediately we receive
this
money leaving no trace to any place. If this proposal is acceptable to
you,
kindly email your following
information to me immediately:

a. Complete names
b. Private telephone number
c. Private fax number
d. Private email

Sincerely,
Dr. Harry Chisale
00229-97876751

Brief editorial comments: Another doctor?

These are the e-mails that would qualify as "Nigerian E-mail scams" that I have received just in the last two weeks. There are some features of them that resemble a form letter, and so it is worthwhile to look at them in at least a little bit of detail to determine the nature of the scam and why these frauds keep on entering into my inbox, and yours, more than likely.

First comes some sort of introduction that tries to explain why someone I don't know would bother to send me a message. After all, these scammers (like most scammers) recongnize that there is an initial distrust when dealing with people one does not know. I tend to only distrust those selling me things, as I tend to have no problem with strangers in general. It is only those people who seek to gain at my loss that earn my annoyance, and there are rather too many of those people around. Usually there is some kind of comment to the effect that only a foreigner could deal with this because the law of such-and-such country prevents their own citizens from this rather lucrative and shady business.

Then there is some kind of sob story that shows someone's sickness (in one case) or death (the rest) and that attempts to pull at my heartstrings. It seriously annoys me when people try to take advantage of my generosity. I would rather people think I am cold and heartless and not generous at all, because then such generosity as I occasionally show would be a surprise, and would be welcomed, rather than expected and taken advantage of. Such is the life, though. Often times there is some kind of pathetic tone through the entire message that attempts to demonstrate how destitute said recipient would be without my participation in the rather shady dealings (this is probably true, as there are many destitute in Africa, though the ones who propogate such scams are probably those who are more clever and wicked among the rather poorly off population at large).

Also along with the appeal to my generous and merciful heart is the appeal to greed. Anyone who appeals to my greed is someone to be highly distrusted, just as is anyone who appeals to my generosity. There is usually some obscenely large amount of money that is supposedly waiting there for me, and all I have to do is give the local guy a cut and I get the rest. I have my sins, but rampant greed does not happen to be one of them. I know what they sell, and I'm not buying. I try never to let my greed get in the way of my sound and sceptical thinking.

There is also often some kind of appeal to credibility. Whether that is some sort of bogus title (those who scam others are always trying to give themselves titles in order to be seen with credibility they do not deserve), or some sort of "close relation" to the deceased, there is always some attempt to increase trust by the use of titles. I destest the use of titles in increasing credibility. It really does nothing for me. I do not view people selling me things as credible, and when they attempt to enlist credibility, I trust them even less (if that were possible). When it comes to human credibility, the smallest child of a migrant farming family (some of my few childhood friends) has as much credibility as the most powerful person or the most educated. At any rate, they are equally worth my attention and consideration. The credibility of something should be in the content of the appeal, for if that content is present, I care not what letters are behind your name, or if you have any at all. If the content is lacking, all of the titles in the world will not help you gain my trust.

Finally, these letters often have information in bold or in all caps because they assume I am stupid and cannot read for myself. I deteset when people use all caps or bold in order to emphasize more than one word in writing. I am literate, and I do pay attention (rather close attention, if sometimes hostile) to what I am reading. It is an insult to have phrases and sentances bolded, because if they are important to me, they will receive their proper notice when I am reading them. It is rather foolish to assume that what is important to you is going to be important to me, unless you actually know me (for I am an unusual person).

How then, does one sell to someone like myself? One doesn't. If I want something, all I need is the right opportunity at the right price (and I am always looking for opportunities), and I will have no problem with it. If I already want it, your selling is useless, because I am already a willing customer and you are wasting your energy by trying to sell me it. If I do not want it, all of your attempts to sell me your product will fall on deaf ears because the harder you try to sell it the more suspicious I will be about the product and about the motive of the person selling it to me. It is rather easy to irritate and annoy me (especially recently, because I do not have the reserves of patience I normally have to keep me from being set of by everything around me). It is, however, rather difficult to move me in a positive direction, unless you speak with reason. If you must appeal to me, appeal to my intellect and reason. Appeal to truth, to facts, to evidence. Do not appeal to your expertise, as you probably don't have any. And please, if you want to appeal to me, do not send me a mass e-mail. I'm worth more than that.

Everything You Know Is Wrong

Today I would like to look at two news stories, one in sports and the other in disputes, that demonstrate signs of the times, as well as subjects I happen to be interested in. We will start, as is my custom, in light syrup, and then move to the more serious issue afterwards. With that somewhat cryptic introduction, let us move onto the stories.

What Color Is Kryptonite?

George Mason was a Virginia slaveowner who refused to sign the Constitution because it permitted slavery (those Virginian slaveowners were an ironic lot, were they not?). He is considered the father of the Bill of Rights, and a university is named after him on the outskirts of Washington DC. George Mason University is a commuter school with a diverse population of people not so interested in sports, but you had better believe they are now. The Patriots, regular season co-champions of the Colonial Athletic Association (!) are now in the Final Four (!!) of the NCAA tournament, having dispatched Michigan State, North Carolina (the defending national champions), Wichita State, and Connecticut in four straight upset wins.

As a true fan of the underdog, I have been hearing good things about this team all year. They played a difficult schedule and were definitely part of this year's "Mid-Major Revolution," where smaller schools gained coveted bids over mediocre teams from larger and more powerful conferences. I'm all for that. There were some naysayers, but George Mason University has proven them wrong and earned a nation of bandwagon fans, something it probably does not mind.

I actually watched most of the first half of the Elite 8 showdown where George Mason pulled off the shocking upset of a Connecticut team that was actually playing pretty well (much better than, say, Memphis and UCLA were playing on Saturday night). After some early cold shooting, they started to find their range and came back, stealing the ball, hustling for every rebound (despite a major height disadvantage). At that point, I thought, they just might be able to pull off one of the most shocking upsets in college basketball history. And so they did. Here's hoping they pull off two more.

Law and Disorder in France

France has declared war on its young adults. Saddled with 22% unemployment among its young adults (a horrendous waste of bright minds, largely due to employment practices which in France and elsewhere serve to benefit older employees unjustly at the expense of young people), the Conservative French government pushed through a new law that legitimizes (well, maybe that's the wrong word) discrimination against young people by allowing them to be fired easier without the normal legal restraints. This has, unsurprisingly, led to a cross-cultural revolt of the young in many French suburbs. I say, go for it, French young people. You are not being respected, and until the older generations respect the youth, let them fear the youth. It is completely unacceptable that young adults should be denied their proper place in society so that the middle aged should receive the benefits of guaranteed security.

This is emblematic of the generational crisis present throughout the world at this time. There is a large number, in nearly every society in the world, of well educated young adults who desire to better their lives and positions. I know, for I am one of them, and I am far from alone in coming from a disadvantaged background seeking improvement in my conditions. However, all around the world are corrupt societies where these desires to improve conditions are thwarted because of vested societal interests--corrupt monarchies in the Middle East that inefficiently manage oil wealth and limit the benefits to the wealthy few, corrupt employment systems in the West that excessively reward executives and seek to aggressively limit payroll increases for regular employees, corrupt immigration policies that allow illegal immigrants to prop up unacceptable pay rates in 3rd world countries by simultaneously lowering the wages for service and manual labor in first world countries, corrupt religious and political figures who use the acceptable and proper rage of young adults to terrorize the world, and corrupt middle aged citizens and politicians who continue to seek the young to subsidize their retirements when their prospects for wealth and respect are hindered at every turn.

The problems that plague France are not unique. The same conditions, in some way, are present all over the world. It is good to see the young people of France working together, as they are all subject to the same pressures, the fault of no particular ethnic group, but rather the fault of those who have abused their power and wealth to serve selfish ends at the expense of others who are more righteous and worthy than they are. The French may be a tad quicker to protest than other nations are, but let this serve as an example to other nations that peace in their societies depends on justice, and that justice has for too long been delayed and denied.

Against Tyranny: The Neglected Biblical Legacy of William Tyndale and The Geneva Bible

I am one of the ten percent of those who have visited "Ink and Blood" who has heard of William Tyndale before. He was a marytr to the cause of true faith in the Bible when he was stranged and burned to the stake by Catholics. His crime was taking the Bible seriously and translating it into English.

During the lifetime of William Tyndale, it was a crime, punishable by death, to own the Bible in the vernacular (that is, the common tongue). The Catholic Church, like all corrupt powers, wished to hold onto knowledge and keep it from the common person, because when the common people have access to knowledge, hierarchies come crumbling down. It is for this reason that I am so staunchly in favor of as wide a dissemination of knowledge as is possible, for we are all equals, separated only by pride and arrogance and ignorance. There is no excuse for any to oppress any others in any way.

William Tyndale took the Bible seriously. Most people, even people of faith, do not. There are really two messages of the Bible: the first is obedience to God, and the second is love for one's fellow man. In order to be a true believer of God, both are necessary. Obedience to God involves knowing God's word and following it. This is difficult, and involves casting off those human habits and traditions which work counter to God's law. Loving one's fellow man is a commitment to social justice (not a popular thing then or now), and a commitment to service and generosity.

It was Tyndale's commitment to social justice and the accountability of leadership that got him (and others like him, myself included) into trouble with the corrupt authorities of his time. By exposing the foolish superstitions of his time, and exposing the corrupt behavior of authorities (divorce and immorality figured into it, then as now). He was no anarchist (neither am I, nor is anyone else with a true commitment to the Bible), but he saw clearly the fault of his times and exposed it with moderation but with devastating clarity.

After his death his Bible translation, carried on by others, became accepted in England until the reign of Mary Tudor, otherwise known as Bloody Mary. A group of Protestants who fled to Geneva used Tyndale's Bible as the basis for the Geneva Bible, an excellent translation. Included with this translation were some great notes that nonetheless are controversial even now. For example, the notes were stuanchly against corrupt monarches. Two notes in particular were considered quite inflammatory. One note in Exodus 1 praised the Hebrew midwives for their disobedience of the Pharaoh, which was considered seditious. The other note condemned Asa for only deposing his idolatrous mother instead of having her killed as the law commanded. These sort of notes did not endear themselves to corrupt monarchs who did not read Deuteronomy 17 closely enough. I wholeheartedly agree with those sentiments that those in power should not be exempt from the strictest penalties of breaking the law that are meted out to the lowest and most disreputable of citizens. If anything, we should be more severe against leaders than against led, more severe against the powerful than the powerless, on account of the greater reach of their actions and the greater and more public example they set.

The Geneva Bible was the most popular Bible until the King James Bible, and in my opinion is a superior translation (on account of its acknowledged closeness to Tyndale's work, which is also adopted without attribution in the KJV, and accounts for its veracity, such as it has, and its poetic excellence). Both Tyndale and the Geneva Bible are mostly neglected today, and carrying on my theme of praising that which is unfairly neglected, I give them due honor in the place where my voice and opinion can be heard the most and the most clearly. Let us remember the work of those who came before us and whose sacrifices made it possible for the liberties we possess and the truth we possess today. Let not their sacrifice be in vain.