If a brother sins against you...

Occasionally I use this blog as a platform for ranting about my own shortcomings and those of others. Usually, of course, I am vastly harsher on myself than on others, but often it is necessary to point out less than flattering qualities in other people for their own good (and I am sure that those who point out my less than flattering qualities agree as well).

Matthew 18:15-17 states: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen to you, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or tax collector."

Now, it is fairly clear and obvious what these verses mean. While putting them into practice is somewhat difficult (for me, as well as for you, no doubt), what they say is quite direct and straightforward. If someone says or does something that offends you, you have the responsibility to go to them. Some of us, like myself, are not very difficult to find. I generally am quick to answer my e-mails (perhaps too quick on occasion), and I even answer the phone. You can even, if you really want to, speak to me in person. I am generally accommodating to requests for explanation and clarification, when those are necessary. In other words, I am not a difficult person to go to if you have a problem (though I tend to be a bit prickly when it comes to criticism, a quality I am sure I am not alone in). I am a bit annoyed, to be honest, when people tell me unflattering things to my face. That said, though, I am vastly more annoyed when people do it behind my back. The Bible condemns that sort of behavior most strenously, and states that those who practice such behavior will not enter the Kingdom of God. Do you want to enter the Kingdom of God? I know I do.

Now, if you do not get a satisfactory answer from me (or anyone else) concerning your complaints, your next responsibility is to find a couple of brethren who are moderate and somewhat patient and then go to the person again, with impartial witnesses to determine the attitude of the brother or sister who offended you. This is not the opportunity to go find some friends and gang up on someone, but rather a request for honest mediation of a problem. I don't know of very many people who have done this in their complaints with me (there are few who do the first step, and few times in my life where some conversation has not resolved the basic issues to at least an agree to disagree level), but perhaps they should if they do not receive satisfaction in personal conversation. I am someone who speaks many works, and must be occasionally reminded that not everyone shares my bluntness and candor, or my oftentimes extreme views stated rather matter-of-factly as if they were obvious truths (at least they are obvious to me)...

It is only after personal conversation has failed and the person is unwilling to accept mediation with impartial mediators that someone should go to the church about an issue. Most people (you know who you are), however, take this as the first step, and never even bother to go to their brother at all. The Church at Corinth did it, and was upbraided (that is, corrected) for it. Now, I am sure I am not the person best suited to give such rather correctional messages (I try to avoid them, because I am all too aware of how often I fall short of the standards of perfection, and wish to avoid both the appearance and the reality of hypocrisy), but someone ought to.

Let me be blunt, much of the time I rant about people who are already dead and cannot defend themselves. People tell me all sorts of nasty things about Abraham Lincoln, who happens to be my favorite president and a personal role model of mine (though I am certainly willing to see his flaws and faults), all because they are pro-Southern and have very harsh views as to the president that lawfully and properly removed them of their illegetimate property. However, they consider it no small thing to insult someone who was a president of the United States. Likewise, people around me are often saying the most savage things about former president Clinton and his wife, commenting on their sexual lives (in sometimes unseemly detail and content) and considering them people of no moral principles whatsoever (and, to be honest, I do not view them very highly either, though some do based on political ideology). Again, these were people who God placed (for whatever reason, these matters are mysterious to me) in authority over us, and people feel no compunction about speaking wickedly about them.

However, many of these same people express the most wondrous stock and horror over fond leaders of their own being questioned. None of us are above questioning (again, I know I'm not, and I don't assume that others have much less that needs correction than I do), whether dead or alive. Those whose legacy extends far beyond their own lives merit the most questioning. That is because the legacy of their deeds lives on after they are gone, and that legacy itself may be the sources of many problems, besides many blessings. If we cannot see fault where fault lies in others, we are not judging as we ought. God is merciful, though, and for that we must all be thankful. If God was not forgiving, none of us would have a chance to enter His family. I truly wish that God has or will forgive those whom I criticize, for I know how strongly I ask for God's forgiveness for my own sins, which are legion. That said, before we can be forgiven, we must realize what we need to be forgiven of. It is for this reason that criticism can be a moral course of behavior, because people are often blind to their own sins, and often justify them. I only say this because I know myself well enough. We need to face up to what we are before we can become what God wants us to be. None of us are there yet, and we all have much work to do. That work, though, should be done in a way that is candid, open, and honest. And trust me, if I have a personal problem with you, I will not hesitate to bring it up to you myself. Don't say you weren't warned.